Simpsons quote of the day

The one that stays in my mind is when Bart becomes a Scout (or whatever it was) with Ned as leader, and he gave Bart a guidebook on knives.

Bart (reading aloud): "'Don't Do What Donny Don't Does'...they could've made this clearer.'
 
Some of the wisest worRAB ever from one Homer Jay Simpson

"alcohol.... The cause of, and solution to all of life's problems"

Also this fantastic line just after the car crashes into a statue of a deer

Homer: ANNOYED GRUNT (D'OH)
Lisa: A deer
Marge: A female deer

Both clips are on YouTube if you search
 
Marge: "Cheer up Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon."

Homer: "That's not how I remember it. Besides, if we wanted to see Japanese people, we could have gone to the zoo."

Marge: "Homer!"

Homer: "What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese! His name is Takashi. He's in my book club!"
 
Bart: Come on, man, everyone knows the first day of school is a total wank.
Principal Skinner: Well, if by wank you mean educational fun, then stand back, it's wanking time!
 
Homer: Hello, operator? Get me the number for 911!

-----

Homer (impersonating Mr. Burns at bank): Helloooo, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me

Bank Clerk: OK Mr. Burns, and what's your first name?

Homer (while still impersonating):...I don't know.

:D
 
And from the same episode

Flanders (throwing mattress out the window) Dear Lord, may your loving hand guide Homer to the mattress square and true...
(Homer bounces on the mattress and straight back through the window) :D :D :D

Then Flanders jumps on the mattress and bounces back in :D :D
 
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