Simpsons quote of the day

Homer: Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?
Vendor: Mountain Dew or Crab Juice
Homer: Bleughh..ewww..jeez... Il take a crab juice

:D
 
Marge (narrating): "It was the thirteenth hour, of the thirteenth day, of the thirteenth month. The PTA had called a meeting to discuss the incorrect calendars bought by the School."

Homer, brushing snow off his coat and shivering, glances at the calendar.

Homer: "Oh, lousy Smarch weather!"

That has since become one of my favourite quotes.
 
Moe advertising "Uncle Moes Family Feedbag" :
"...and if you wanna come to a place wih a whole load of crazy crap on the walls...!"
and
"I can't stand the laughter of children - it cuts through me like a dentists drill !"
Moe appearing with a metal basket of chips tied to his head saying "Would you mind taking the basket off my head kid, the oil is extremely hot !"
I love episodes that feature Moe !
 
Ralph (after getting his earring caught on his shirt collar) My neck hurts, and my ear hurts. I have two owwies. :D


Another Ralph one

Ralph: We do people run away from me? *wets self*
 
One of my favourite episodes has been Brother From Another Series. I had to refer to IMDB for this one (I couldn't remember the name of the wines):

Cecil Terwilliger: Now make yourself at home. Perhaps a glass of Bordeaux? I have the '82 Chateau Latour and a rather indifferent Rausan-Segla.

Sideshow Bob: I've been in prison, Cecil. I'll be happy just as long as it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.

Cecil Terwilliger: That would be the Latour, then.

That is so Frazier and Niles.
 
One of my favourites.

Also:

Homer and Marge take the kiRAB shoe shopping. Marge buys some which are ideal for, amongst other things, church:

Lisa: "But Jesus wore sandles!"

Homer: "Maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him."

Chief Wiggum to Ralph who is about to board the bus for a school trip:

"Remember Ralph, if your nose is bleeding ot means you're picking it too much ................ or not enough."

Superintendent Chalmers: "Arman Tamzarian's reign of terror is over!"

Moe: "Hey, I'm not dirt. I'm better than dirt! Well, most kinRAB of dirt. Not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients."

"Disco Stu doesn't advertise!"

Lisa about Nelson:

"He's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a T shirt."
 
Mr Burns trying to get the town's money in the Monorail episode...

Burns (in a fake moustache): Hello, my name is Mr Snrub and I come from ....(thinks)....someplace far away. Yes that'll do.


Homer trying to get back the nasty letter he wrote to Mr Burns....

Homer (in strange accent to postal worker): Hello. My name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Worker: OK, Mr Burns. Whats your first name?
Homer: I don't know. (cut to: Homer and Bart sitting outside miserable)
 
At the Film Festival -

Mr Burns: Smithers, they're booing me.

Smithers: No, they're saying Boo-erns, Boo-erns

Burns (standing up to the audience): Were you saying Boo or Boo-erns?

(The audience boos loudly and then they cut to Hans Moleman in the crowd)

Moleman: I was saying Boo-erns.
 
Before that, there's the bit where Homer taunts the guard thinking that he's like a Queen's Guard.

Homer: Hey! Are you like one of those English guarRAB who can't laugh or smile or anything? [makes noises and faces at him] [gets punched in the face] Ow!

Marine: No, Sir! US Marine Corps, Sir!
 
I love that one! :D

One I also like is when Marge accidently cuts Homer's thumb off and calls the police. Wiggum says they need to arrest her, but she has to tell them her address so they can, and she says "Er... 123 Fake Street". :D

And of course later in the episode it turns out there is a 123 Fake Street.
 
I choked on my coke when I first saw this...

Bob: Bart Simpson, that mischeivous little scamp that twice sent me to that dank urine soaked hellhole.
Parole Officer: Uh...We object to the term "urine soaked hellhole," when you could of used "peepee soaked heckhole."
Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.

:D:D
 
Lisa: Dad do you think we'll ever see her again?

Homer: I'm sure we will Lisa, i'm sure we will...

(Cherie bobbins gets shredded by plane engine)

Cherie Bobbins:
Hi, i'm Cherie Bobbins!

Homer:
Did you say M... (interrupts)

Cherie Bobbins:
No, i'm an original creation like Rickey Rouse or Monald Muck.
:D:D
 
From "Lemon of Troy":

Bart is dividing the group up to hunt for the lemon tree:

Bart: "Milhouse, you and me will be Omega Team. Todd, you and Data are Team Strike Force. Nelson, that leaves you and Martin."

Martin - enthusiasitically: "Team Discovery Channel!"

Nelson: "Aww ... your wussiness better come in handy."
 
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