Hanaki, welcome to the back board! I hope we can help you. We aren't doctors, just regular people with back issues.
Back surgery should always be the last resort. It sounRAB like you've reached that point. There is certainly a chance that it won't help or that you could even end up worse, but the majority of fusions do at least significantly decrease the pain. For me, I'd be in a wheelchair by now if I hadn't had my fusion! I do still have pain, but it's nowhere near as bad as the pain I was having before my surgery. I'd make the same decision again in a heartbeat! I wish we could have a guarantee before surgery, or hinRABight ahead of time, so we'd know we were making the right decision. Have you gotten several opinions? Are the doctors in agreement that this is the best option for you? If you've done all that and have made the decision, don't second guess yourself now. You'll make yourself crazy! Remind yourself of why you made this decision and then stick with it. Can your doctor put you in touch with someone else who has been through it? With HIPPA laws, of course he'd have to ask the other person for permission, but some doctors are willing to do that to help alleviate your fears.
As you read posts here, please keep in mind that those with successful outcomes pretty much aren't hanging around here anymore. Most of the people here have either had failed fusions, complications, are recovering, or are in similar shoes to yours, trying to figure out what to do next. I started on this board almost three years ago. I can think of dozens of people who have passed through here, had their surgery, recovered, got their lives back, and disappeared. Some of them still pop in every now and then, but most of them have moved on. Three cheers for them! Getting a life again was the goal!
Have you read the thread at the top called, "Post Surgery Tips"? It has a ton of great suggestions that will help to make your recovery easier.
I wish you the best, Hanaki, as you go through this journey. It's a tough surgery with a long recovery, but if it's what you need, it will be well worth it! You'll be wishing you had done it sooner!
Hang in there!
Emily