Should I waste my breath saying something to my in-laws?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Glenna
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Glenna

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Our sons fourth birthday was a couple days ago. Today, we got a birthday card in the mail from my husbands parents. What upsets me is that they didn't send a card nor call for our daughters birthday in June, nor our youngest sons birthday in July. Also, this is the first birthday card they've sent to any of my children since our first borns first birthday. Why suddenly does he get a birthday card again(two days late) but the others have never gotten anything? I desperately want to confront her, but my husband tells me not to waste my breath. Am I over-reacting? Should I just let it go? I'm just so upset that they sent one card in three years, yet ignore the other two children on their birthdays.
 
Hi Glenna...I don't really know these In-Laws...but they may be trying to turn over a new leaf by sending a Birthday Card...hopefully this would be somethign they intend on doing from here on out. Are these the ones you visited a Few Weeks Back? Did everything go well? Aside from Hubby's Mom thinking she Misses her son more than you miss your Husband! lol...Maybe they ARE trying to be BETTER Grandparents?
 
No you are not over-reacting, but should you let it go. I would, for now.

Maybe this is the 1st of many cards to come from here on out. It's possible they realized that they haven't and have decided to start. You have to start with someone's birthday.

I think I would only say something if the kids seem upset by it. If some time goes by and the other children still don't get cards but then your son gets another one or another child is forgotten then I would let you in-laws know that your other children were hurt and that you are sure that they didn't realize they forgot the other children's birthday but that the kids did.

Honestly...it's not worth it if the kids don't notice though. Trust me.
 
Let it go..
Your kids probably don't even realize what's happening..
Make sure you have your kid call and thank them for the card..
There's really no tactful way to say, "Hey thanks for getting jimmy a card but what about mike and sally???"
 
Let it go. If you are worried about the kids noticing, just sign a card with the inlaws name on it. I wouldn't even do that. I would just say
"Grandmom and Grandpop must not have remembered, but that doesn't mean they don't love you." Why mil handles it this way is anyone's guess. Perhaps she simply forgot. My brother always got a card from family friends and I never did. At the time I thought I wonder why they don't send one to me, and my mom said "It's very nice that they remember your brother, and I know they care about you, but they just forget." That's all there was to that.
Family members aren't required to send anything. It's just nice when they do.
 
If they sent your 4 yr old son a card after they gave him one just a few days before at a party, it sounds like they have memory probs (maybe Alzheimers beginning?) and they must be out of it to not remember they just gave him something at a party.

I wouldn't say anything because you cannot mandate love & generousity. That's just who they are. It's lame that they're not more into their grandchildren's birthdays but not everyone in the world was made to be a parent (or grandparent).
 
Who knows why they don't send cards or give gifts to the children. they don't sound like the normal grandparents. Maybe you can be an example for them and make sure they get cards/presents on their birthdays if they don't already. (from you and your husband.). Sometimes retired couples are on a fixed income and can't afford gifts. I don't know their circumstances. I wouldn't say anything to them. Maybe they are penny pinchers!
 
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