I think she is endangering her children through her filthy cluttered house. Her husband has a hoarding problem and there is a path through shoulder high piles of stuff from the front door to the sofa and the piles are lower just in front of the tv. Another narrow path goes to the kitchen. It is all very dirty. They have takeaway several times a week and she has told me the children have crisps for breakfast. Her oldest child (8) is dangerously obese and has frequent asthma attacks and unexplained skin rashes and the little one (4) has what she calls 'tummy bugs' a couple of times a month. They get no exercise and can't get into the garden cos there is stuff piled in front of the back door.
The reason I wouldn't is because she is a lovely lady who spends every minute with her kids and has fought to get her autistic oldest child a good education - they are clearly her priority. No expense is spared and she is very patient and loving. Her son's autism makes him hard work at times but she never flags. She lost a baby and has struggled with depression since and an operation on her knee has left her walking with a stick.
The reason I would is because she does not seem to relate her children's illnesses to their lifestyle and gets very annoyed if I hint at improving their diet or exercise or cleaning the house. My husband and I offered to clear their garden so the kids could play outside but she says she will get to it (not this summer tho) and when they have come to mine they run mad with the space - they have to sit most of the time at home - no space. She keeps the 4 year old on reins cos she will just run if not. I have diplomatically suggested she may need more exercise and she snapped at me 'I'm a terrible mother cos I can't run after them I suppose.' I said no, but the school is next to a park which has a seat and is all enclosed and safe. She walks further to the shops. She jokes that her 8 year old is in age 13 trousers and they're tight but then says she has to take them up loads and does not see the significance. :-( She does not see that her little one's 'tummy bugs' have continued all through the school holidays when she has not been near children.
It will do no good talking to her - my experience of that has been unpleasant. If I told social services about the problem they would not take the children but educate her about hygeine and diet etc? Do you think? I used to offer to help have a clear up but she never accepted. Her husband cannot help as he has the hoarding problem and when their son was diagnosed autistic it was found that he is mildy as well - he does not see a problem.
The reason I wouldn't is because she is a lovely lady who spends every minute with her kids and has fought to get her autistic oldest child a good education - they are clearly her priority. No expense is spared and she is very patient and loving. Her son's autism makes him hard work at times but she never flags. She lost a baby and has struggled with depression since and an operation on her knee has left her walking with a stick.
The reason I would is because she does not seem to relate her children's illnesses to their lifestyle and gets very annoyed if I hint at improving their diet or exercise or cleaning the house. My husband and I offered to clear their garden so the kids could play outside but she says she will get to it (not this summer tho) and when they have come to mine they run mad with the space - they have to sit most of the time at home - no space. She keeps the 4 year old on reins cos she will just run if not. I have diplomatically suggested she may need more exercise and she snapped at me 'I'm a terrible mother cos I can't run after them I suppose.' I said no, but the school is next to a park which has a seat and is all enclosed and safe. She walks further to the shops. She jokes that her 8 year old is in age 13 trousers and they're tight but then says she has to take them up loads and does not see the significance. :-( She does not see that her little one's 'tummy bugs' have continued all through the school holidays when she has not been near children.
It will do no good talking to her - my experience of that has been unpleasant. If I told social services about the problem they would not take the children but educate her about hygeine and diet etc? Do you think? I used to offer to help have a clear up but she never accepted. Her husband cannot help as he has the hoarding problem and when their son was diagnosed autistic it was found that he is mildy as well - he does not see a problem.