out of myself? I am married to my wife for 13yrs and she has an illegitimate son who is now 28yrs old. To me he is the ultimate climax of uselessness. He come and goes as he pleases and has no sense of responsibility. He doesn't know of cleaning after himself as everything is being done for him. He is unemployed with two illegitimate children, one of 3yrs and one who is about 8mnths, which he doesn't support. We have a housemaid and a gardener as he at 28 does not know of pulling his weight.
I have tried putting him through school, but since the age of 16 until now his friends are more important to him than his family. I have put him out twice before, but his mother is always the one who ends up with sleepless nights and come crying for me to reconsider. I cannot grasp how it came to be that someone as useless as he can be associated with people as hardworking as myself and his mother.
Now why do I wanna leave my family if he is the cause of the frustration in our marriage?
I feel that this runs in my wifes family as her mother is still sitting today with a 50yr old baby, which is my wifes older brother. He is unemployed, drinks heavily, swears worse than a sailor even swears his mother, but she still sit and feeds him day and night. I will be damned if I am going to allow this. My wife has got in general a problematic family who always ends up on my doorstep when there is problems and my wife and her mother just enjoys playing JUDGE over other adult lives even when the other parties are not even asking for help.
I feel that my wife is standing in the way of my/our happiness as she doesn't wanna cut the placental cord.
A few years ago I wanted to move to Australia from South Africa, but she didn't wanna move as she is worried about what is going to happen to her mother and son even though her mother is staying with her second eldest brother and she has a sister and two other brothers in close by vaccinity.
She makes it out to be that she is worried about her mother and maybe she is, but I think she is more worried about whats going to happen to her adult son more than anything else.
She has allowed frustration into our marriage which I have contended with for over 8yrs now. I cannot go on like this any longer.
I wanted to move about a year ago to East Londen which is 350km away from home seeking after better life for us and my daughter, but once again the excuse of her mother which is just a eyeblind over worrying about her son.
I recently got a promotion from Assistant Superintendent to Superintendent of the water department which requires me to work about 33km away from home. I have raised the issue of moving closer even though 33km is not that far, but having to travel it at night is without a doubt dangerous on our unlighted roads, she doesn't wanna know anything.
We have a house which we are renting out and are renting ourselves in a area about 2km from my current job. Our lease has expired and we have to move within the next two months.
My next suggestion to my wife is that I am moving, but it will be without her son as he causes to much frustration in our marriage. If she is not happy with this I will move on my own. Will this be selfish as I feel he is a long ago overdue adult who is suppose to be independant at his age already.
I am so frustrated that I do not even feel like making love to my wife.
A whole month can pass sometimes without having sex and I don't even miss it.
All I am seeking for is happiness and a better lifestyle for my legitimate minor daughter.
Please advise and no telling me that divorce is not an option because of my daughter or I chose until death do us part.
I have tried putting him through school, but since the age of 16 until now his friends are more important to him than his family. I have put him out twice before, but his mother is always the one who ends up with sleepless nights and come crying for me to reconsider. I cannot grasp how it came to be that someone as useless as he can be associated with people as hardworking as myself and his mother.
Now why do I wanna leave my family if he is the cause of the frustration in our marriage?
I feel that this runs in my wifes family as her mother is still sitting today with a 50yr old baby, which is my wifes older brother. He is unemployed, drinks heavily, swears worse than a sailor even swears his mother, but she still sit and feeds him day and night. I will be damned if I am going to allow this. My wife has got in general a problematic family who always ends up on my doorstep when there is problems and my wife and her mother just enjoys playing JUDGE over other adult lives even when the other parties are not even asking for help.
I feel that my wife is standing in the way of my/our happiness as she doesn't wanna cut the placental cord.
A few years ago I wanted to move to Australia from South Africa, but she didn't wanna move as she is worried about what is going to happen to her mother and son even though her mother is staying with her second eldest brother and she has a sister and two other brothers in close by vaccinity.
She makes it out to be that she is worried about her mother and maybe she is, but I think she is more worried about whats going to happen to her adult son more than anything else.
She has allowed frustration into our marriage which I have contended with for over 8yrs now. I cannot go on like this any longer.
I wanted to move about a year ago to East Londen which is 350km away from home seeking after better life for us and my daughter, but once again the excuse of her mother which is just a eyeblind over worrying about her son.
I recently got a promotion from Assistant Superintendent to Superintendent of the water department which requires me to work about 33km away from home. I have raised the issue of moving closer even though 33km is not that far, but having to travel it at night is without a doubt dangerous on our unlighted roads, she doesn't wanna know anything.
We have a house which we are renting out and are renting ourselves in a area about 2km from my current job. Our lease has expired and we have to move within the next two months.
My next suggestion to my wife is that I am moving, but it will be without her son as he causes to much frustration in our marriage. If she is not happy with this I will move on my own. Will this be selfish as I feel he is a long ago overdue adult who is suppose to be independant at his age already.
I am so frustrated that I do not even feel like making love to my wife.
A whole month can pass sometimes without having sex and I don't even miss it.
All I am seeking for is happiness and a better lifestyle for my legitimate minor daughter.
Please advise and no telling me that divorce is not an option because of my daughter or I chose until death do us part.