Should I keep my word?

a few days ago i told the only girl that cared about me that i did drugs. its not bad but she told me that we wouldnt be friends if i did drugs i did them 4 times and she kept giving me chances. i dont know what i should do because this isnt just a regular girl to me. (shes bi btw) shes AMAZING she CARES about me and IS FUNNY and everything. I always think about her and **** like that but anywayss..

I let her down. to many times and we got in a fight and she told me that the she promised she wouldnt abandon me (leave me) because she knows im a really big trouble maker and she knows that shes helps me stay out of trouble. but she said if i did drugs she would leave me and i SWORE to her that if i did drugs id leave .

should i just be like **** it and just try not to let her down again or should i keep my word and stop our friendship so i can stop drugs? advice?
 
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