Should i have sex before i get married?

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Lauren C

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I'm really in love with my boyfriend. Ive been dating him for about 3 years. We wont be getting married for a while though, because we both want careers first.

a big part of me wants to wait to have sex. Number one, because even though we would use a condom and birth control, I still worry that i would get pregnant. And number two, i think it would be more special for marriage.

What do you think i should do?

- I cant talk to my mom about this cause she passed away a few years ago, so i could really use some advice on this-

Best answer gets 10 points.
 
If you really want to then go for it. The first time isn't anything special anyway. It'll most likely just be awkward, regardless of what night you choose.
 
Honestly as much as I want to help u out with this its really not something that we can help u with. Its a decision that u and ur man have to make together. If saving urself untill marriage is really important to u then u should do that, but honestly I know in some religions sex is a huge thing and they say u should save urself for marriage and all that stuff but honestly sex is sex and i`m not saying that to be judgmental at all its just what i believe. And no I dont mean that u should just have sex with anyone. I was with my boyfriend for about a year and a half before i had sex with him but that was because I knew I loved him and he loved me and I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life and by the way he was not only was he my first boyfriend but im still with him and have been with him for 5 years now. So once again its ur decision but I wouldnt stress about it to much if having sex is somthing that u both really want to do then I say go for it.
 
It depends on what your religion is. I'm thinking you should wait since you seem to think that matters.
 
Your first answer is usually correct. I applaud both of you for waiting. And if you've waited this long then you both can wait till marriage. So many people rush this decision and once it's gone, you will never get it back. It's tough but I definitely think it's worth it. I know your mom is very proud of you. Besides, sex brings out so many emotions that it really is best to experience it when you are married. You will feel more safe and secure too. Your future children will have your experience model after.

Love takes time and thats ok. You both want one another forever right? Well then a few years is nothing. Continue doing whats best for you and wait.
 
You've waited this long (and well done there), you should wait till your wedding night - how special will that be, losing your virginity on the most special night of your life! It'll be worth it! Trust me.
 
well as you cant talk to your mum.. .so your about 20 i think .. try it and see .. as he will be your husband soon ..
 
I've always believed that you can only get the experience of what sex really means if it's when you're married. It's so much more special when you know it's someone that you're dedicated to for the rest of your life. Sex is meant to be between a husband and wife, that way if it doesn't work out (I'm not saying it won't) you wouldn't have made that mistake. When you have sex your kind of giving yourself away in a way because you're letting someone know you in a personal way that no one has ever known you before. And when you're married you and your husband are committed together and that's the way it should be.
And if you end up marrying someone else by chance, it would be a lot of baggage for you to know you didn't save yourself for him. You should save yourself for your husband whether it's your current boyfriend or someone else, it's a sign of true dedication and respect. Hope I helped :)
 
Only you can truly answer this question. You have to think about how you would feel if you did have sex before you were married. I would say that if you are asking, then you aren't ready because you are willing to take the advice of a complete stranger....and I think you are looking for an 'excuse' if someone says 'Go ahead and do it' because then you will feel like someone said it was ok and it's their fault you chose to. Wait until YOU are ready....don't let him pressure you or your friends or anyone else...by the way, how old are you? The younger you are, the longer you should wait!
 
I think that what you are doing is very special, however, having a guy wait for such a long time might put you in danger because what if he is getting it somewhere else while you decide to give it to him?
If you really love him and know that he is going to marry you then I dont see a problem with doing it, but if you have doubts then dont , its a very personal decision that only you should make.
goodluck
 
sounds like you need to wait,, a better question to ask is,,,is he gonna wait for you???usually when you say lets wait,,they are like,,,,see ya....
 
Would you buy a pair of shoes before trying them on?

Would you buy a car without test driving it first?

Would you move in a house based only on the outside?

Nuff said!
 
i'd wait. make it stay special! :) besides, if you want a career first... there's no chance at all of getting pregnant if you wait.
 
My personal rule on "sex before marriage" is whether or not you can handle the consequence (ultimately, a child). If you and your 'partner' are in a stable enough condition to take care of and support a baby, than it should be fine. however, the same basis applies if you are not. If you really do love him, than what I or any on else say on this subject 'will not matter'. You are going to do what you feel is best.

Wishing you well.
 
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