Q
quigonjim26
Guest
I really do not want to be married any more. I have felt this way for a long time. We did counseling a few years ago and the therapist said basically, "you just don't want to be married do you".
We have two children, one of them has special needs (7 year old boy) and we have wonderful 10 year old daughter. When we fight, we tell our daughter that just because we fight, it doesnt mean that we don't love each other or that we are getting divorced, and that conflict is part of most relationships.
We have not had a fight in front of my daughter for a long time, and I'm sure she feels everything is fine.
She has a friend who's parents are going through a divorce, so I want to use this friend as a conversation starter to ask our daughter how she would feel if we got divorced, who she would want to live with, and a few other minor questions.
I would really like to know where she stands before I would file paperwork.
My wife is not a bad person, but I just can't stand to be around her anymore. I try to look past the things that annoy me but I just don't think I can tolerate the rest of my life feeling this way. She does not want a divorce at all, but yet she still does the things she knows annoy me. She isnt doing it on purpose, it's just her personality. I struggle to find the reasons I was originally in love with her that are not just being in awe of her success. She was unlike anyone I had dated, 3 years older, already a Bachelor's degree and a great career. We've been married 12 years, but I have felt this way, on and off, for more than 8 years. I want to keep my vows, but I just feel like it was a big mistake and I want out, but I also can't stand thought of abandoning her and our disabled son and not seeing my daughter everyday. Thing is, if I did leave her, I would probably move out of state, and I would want custody, which would really hurt her, and I don't want that either. I just feel stuck and sick at the same time.
I mean to discuss it "hypothetically" with her, like, "if dad had to move away for a job for a year, would you want to go with me, or stay here with mom?,
Or I would ask, "Does Vickie (her friend) want to live with her mom or dad?" "If it were me & mommy, who would you want to live with?"
As for moving out of the state, I would be returning to my home state, my wife & I met in my home state, where she lived for 7 years, then we moved back to her home state for her job after only 2 years of marriage.
As for custody, I don't presume I would win, but I would try, I would want custody. But it would be tough and I would have to attack her character to get it, which I would not want to do.
As for how much weight my daughter's opinion carries, it carries alot. If I think it would destroy her, then I would not get the divorce, I would stay stuck. If she wanted to live with me, it would be easier to get custody and easier to go through with it.
We have two children, one of them has special needs (7 year old boy) and we have wonderful 10 year old daughter. When we fight, we tell our daughter that just because we fight, it doesnt mean that we don't love each other or that we are getting divorced, and that conflict is part of most relationships.
We have not had a fight in front of my daughter for a long time, and I'm sure she feels everything is fine.
She has a friend who's parents are going through a divorce, so I want to use this friend as a conversation starter to ask our daughter how she would feel if we got divorced, who she would want to live with, and a few other minor questions.
I would really like to know where she stands before I would file paperwork.
My wife is not a bad person, but I just can't stand to be around her anymore. I try to look past the things that annoy me but I just don't think I can tolerate the rest of my life feeling this way. She does not want a divorce at all, but yet she still does the things she knows annoy me. She isnt doing it on purpose, it's just her personality. I struggle to find the reasons I was originally in love with her that are not just being in awe of her success. She was unlike anyone I had dated, 3 years older, already a Bachelor's degree and a great career. We've been married 12 years, but I have felt this way, on and off, for more than 8 years. I want to keep my vows, but I just feel like it was a big mistake and I want out, but I also can't stand thought of abandoning her and our disabled son and not seeing my daughter everyday. Thing is, if I did leave her, I would probably move out of state, and I would want custody, which would really hurt her, and I don't want that either. I just feel stuck and sick at the same time.
I mean to discuss it "hypothetically" with her, like, "if dad had to move away for a job for a year, would you want to go with me, or stay here with mom?,
Or I would ask, "Does Vickie (her friend) want to live with her mom or dad?" "If it were me & mommy, who would you want to live with?"
As for moving out of the state, I would be returning to my home state, my wife & I met in my home state, where she lived for 7 years, then we moved back to her home state for her job after only 2 years of marriage.
As for custody, I don't presume I would win, but I would try, I would want custody. But it would be tough and I would have to attack her character to get it, which I would not want to do.
As for how much weight my daughter's opinion carries, it carries alot. If I think it would destroy her, then I would not get the divorce, I would stay stuck. If she wanted to live with me, it would be easier to get custody and easier to go through with it.