Should i confess the truth to my ex?

[Bre M]

I cant hide anymore I need to get something off of my chest. First a little background on me and my ex. He and I were together for two years. Im torn to living hell right now because I miss him so badly he got with a new girlfriend after we broke up. I keep pondering over the mistakes Ive made with him. He has been good to me even after the break up he remains friends with me and checks up to see how Im doing. Ive confessed some deep dark shit to him. He knows without him I wouldnt have made it through the break up... now heres the part Ive been hiding from everyone including him for years. People are really going to hate me for doing what I did and I can accept that. I deserve that. There are two things to confess or not to confess. First, I was sick a few years back when I started getting with him. He always thought I had a bulemia problem which I developed when the sickness left. I told him I had been bulemic in the past but it was before I knew him. Truth was I had been bulemic almost an entire year we were dating. Second, before we got together there was a guy i had been on a few dates with he ended up trying to rape me, honestly I dont remember whether he succeeded or not, I remember very little about him and that day. I told my ex six months into our relationship that I had been raped. Part of me thinks I may have pushed this guy out of my memory. Part of me thinks that because I remember so little it didnt actually happen. Call it sick I know i need to talk to a professional to work my shit out. But what should I do? We have had enough fights in the past I really want to work it out with him. I know he still cares for me and wants me around. Ive seen him have his problems forgiving and forgetting and Ive been scared to tell him. I want him back, I know that is going to take some time. So honestly should I tell him? How should I tell him? When should I tell him? Please help me Im deeply and madly in love with this man. I dont want things to be ruined between us. I have done enough to destroy this relationship already