Alexa's Mommy~09/23/09
New member
Someone please help me. I am on the verge of crying over this and I just don't know anymore..so please don't judge me or be mean, I just need help right now.
Ok, so about 3 years ago I met this girl...I am female btw...we hung out for a while, and eventually 6 months after meeting things kinda went to another level beyond friendship if you know what I mean...so now we have been in a relationship for about 2 1/2 years and we found a guy to be a 'sperm donor', he isn't in the picture now...we consider her (our 6 month old daughter) to be OURS, so that makes the situation even harder.
First of all, I didn't just "turn" lesbian when I met her. I have always been more attracted to females, I noticed it in middle school but I just pushed my feelings aside because I grew up in a church that would have taken this VERY bad and I was always taught that it is wrong, but my main question is...Why would God make someone gay/lesbian if it is a sin?? I really don't want to live in sin, I was always very religious and I loved God with everything I had. But since my girlfriend and I got together I we have both stopped going to church.
For the past 2 months I have had a major fear of dying. Every night when I lay down to go to sleep I get terrified that the world is going to end. Every day I fear something will happen to me. I am living in fear of everything and I am living in fear that I am going to Hell when I die and it's terrible. I am so confused about my beliefs now and I am so tired of being afraid of dying. I think all of the stupid 2012 stuff is having a major impact as well.
I have been really depressed about this for the last few weeks, but I am soo depressed today I keep crying about everything. I can't imagine living without my girlfriend, but I think I am living in sin? She has mental health problems and I am sure if I ever leave her she would probably try to kill herself and I would never want anything bad to happen to her. I just don't know what to do. I am going to call a therapist tomorrow and hopefully talk to someone soon, and my gf is going to one as well. But what can I do? How do I start living right or who could I talk to that could help me sort things out?
I am so sorry this is long, but I am confused and I have been crying while typing half of this message...so please..anyone help me???
I did post this in this religion category, but I want/need your opinions also. I really need help right now!
Ok, so about 3 years ago I met this girl...I am female btw...we hung out for a while, and eventually 6 months after meeting things kinda went to another level beyond friendship if you know what I mean...so now we have been in a relationship for about 2 1/2 years and we found a guy to be a 'sperm donor', he isn't in the picture now...we consider her (our 6 month old daughter) to be OURS, so that makes the situation even harder.
First of all, I didn't just "turn" lesbian when I met her. I have always been more attracted to females, I noticed it in middle school but I just pushed my feelings aside because I grew up in a church that would have taken this VERY bad and I was always taught that it is wrong, but my main question is...Why would God make someone gay/lesbian if it is a sin?? I really don't want to live in sin, I was always very religious and I loved God with everything I had. But since my girlfriend and I got together I we have both stopped going to church.
For the past 2 months I have had a major fear of dying. Every night when I lay down to go to sleep I get terrified that the world is going to end. Every day I fear something will happen to me. I am living in fear of everything and I am living in fear that I am going to Hell when I die and it's terrible. I am so confused about my beliefs now and I am so tired of being afraid of dying. I think all of the stupid 2012 stuff is having a major impact as well.
I have been really depressed about this for the last few weeks, but I am soo depressed today I keep crying about everything. I can't imagine living without my girlfriend, but I think I am living in sin? She has mental health problems and I am sure if I ever leave her she would probably try to kill herself and I would never want anything bad to happen to her. I just don't know what to do. I am going to call a therapist tomorrow and hopefully talk to someone soon, and my gf is going to one as well. But what can I do? How do I start living right or who could I talk to that could help me sort things out?
I am so sorry this is long, but I am confused and I have been crying while typing half of this message...so please..anyone help me???
I did post this in this religion category, but I want/need your opinions also. I really need help right now!