I had a 9 year relationship right out of high school with my ex wife. We split and I feel it was the best decision. We're friends, but that feeling is gone and have no desire to get back with her. Here's the problem. When I started dating again, I met a girl that I had a ton in common with and really felt good about so when the issue of sex came, I was all for it. That relationship ended up not working out. Lately I started dating a girl that I have had a great time with, very fun to be around. Issue is, I didn't see enough similiarities as far as common interests to feel confident about long term, which happens, but I was afraid that she was having stronger feelings for me. I'm a good guy. I treat women with respect and am a gentleman. I can make anyone laugh and have a good time, but I wont use anyone and stress about hurting them. So things progressed and we started making out but when we got to the bedroom, my mind shifted and I lost all focus about the moment and started stressing about using her. I couldn't do it. It freaked me out. Lost the mood 100%. I was afraid she was into me more and that if I slept with her and wasn't on the same level emotionally with her, I'd hurt her and she'd feel used. It's never been an issue before, but I've always either been on the same level or been more into the girl than she was into me. When roles were reversed, I felt like I'd make her feel used. Turns out, we were on the same mental level and I just read too much into it. Totally my fault.
How can I get over this? I don't want to have an issue with sex. I don't want to feel like it has to be 100% physical attraction or making love. I need a smaller gap in between or its going to cause me to lose out on possible connections later. Any help?
How can I get over this? I don't want to have an issue with sex. I don't want to feel like it has to be 100% physical attraction or making love. I need a smaller gap in between or its going to cause me to lose out on possible connections later. Any help?