Sex is like cycling because....

  • Thread starter Thread starter HellonWheels
  • Start date Start date
Also there can be a rather pleasant dull ache in you muscles the next day after an especially vigorous session! Always bring a faint smile to my face when I recall how it got there.
 
If you keep your head low you meet less resistance.
For the big climbs hold on tight and push hard.
Unclip before dismount
Changing positions can help you for the long haul
If you fall asleep,well you know what happens
If you finish too early you will be accused of doping (maybe not, but I like it )
If you do it right you will need a shower later.
It is embarassing to be seen riding an old worn out model.
Hand and leg placement can help performance
And never borrow your best friends favorite ride wiyhout asking.
Proper lubrication is important.
Use proper air pressure (if a live females is not available) and carry patch kit.
If you are in a group ride you better hold your line.

Thats for starters!! I am sure I can think of more
 
Good thought. Never take a ride without the proper tool.
We will leave the multi tools to the Jerry Springer Show
 
Huskey,

This sought of reminds me of the old joke to wit

"My wife always likes to talk to me when she's having sex. The other night she rung me from a hotel." Boom Boom.

Kind regards,
 
Less'

You know I always thought that women closed their eyes when making love because they hated to see men enjoying themselves. Concentration eh?

Kind regards,
 
Yeah, sex and cycling relates..... it depends on my mood whether i want to go short and fast or long and slow. :P
 
Actually, we close our eyes because we're busy imagining ourselves being gangbanged by the San Francisco 49ers.
 
Because some people like to play rough and get dirty.

Others like to do it more traditionally.

You'll be embarassed if you get off before you mean to.

It doesn't have to hurt, but sometimes we like it to.
 
HW,

I never imagined I was being so successful. This has rejuvenated me

Kind regards,
 
I just hate always getting stuck with the women that always call out their own name when having sex.
 
HW,

I've thought about this further. Obviously you wouldn't want to see the 49ers enjoying themselves?

Kind regards,
 
RR,

What's wrong with "Oh Yeahs" or "Oh Faark" as names? These days you should be just a little multicultural. I like the sound of them; They have a nice ring to them.

Anyway all you need to do is ask them their name before you crawl into bed.

The ones that worry me are those with long strong finger nails that seem to always dig them in between the cheeks of my ass, if you understand. Not too bad at the time but not to pleasant after the dust settles.


Kind regards,
 
Hint: closing ones' eyes serves two purposes.

One, it provides better focus and concentration;

Two, it enables you to better pretend you are with your fantasy man (men? ) and not the one you are really with.

I am a nasty, nasty woman, because I say what every man fears and what every woman is afraid to admit. Spank me.
 
What every man fears! "Can I borrow your credit card"?

I guess it is better if the woman has sex with her husband/boyfriend than having sex with her fantasy man/men and has a fantasy about her husband/boyfriend. You make the choice.

"In the battle of the sexes my "weapons of mass destruction" never existed".
 
HW,

I don't think it is nasty to say truthfully what you think, it is very refreshing. If you like a drink you should come over to the thread "Its too good to be true", we need brutally honest ladies in St Sara's d'Beer.

I never ever thought of closing my eyes, my eye sight usually just fades away at the critical moments.

I remember the very first time, simultaneous to this eye problem I got a horrid cramp down one of my legs. At the time I remember thinking that if this is what they are all raving about, I'm not going to bother with this any more. Fortunately I got over that!

Can't say I'd fancy biting the pillow for a footballl team though.

Kind regards,
 
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