Ever since my husband and I married his sexual appetite has been minimal if nothing. To give you a little bit of a back ground, he was molested and raped as a child. We've talked about this and he has been to several shrinks. I catch him looking at porn, and talking to cam girls. However he 'assures' me there is nothing wrong with me. (And no I'm not fat or ugly, and no, I do give him what he wants sexually).
Then came a conversation that he likes bondage. (At first I was a little worried, and then decided yes everyone has a fetish). Then the conversation came down to 'play rape'. He said he never has done it, but is scared if he does he might like it, and it would frighten him). That he associates sex with pain (not the good kind) because of his abusive past.
But back on the subject, when I try to do more then just kiss or hug him. He starts to joke and pull away, or make some excuse to get me away from him. Then two minutes later he'll come over and ask me for a kiss and what not. Almost like he's teasing me, and I don't like it or appreciate what he's doing. I've also expressed this verbally. It's almost as if he takes in no consideration when I want sex. It's always when he wants and usually in the middle of the night on a weekday if anytime at all. On a night that I have to get up at 5am for work.
Any advise? (serious answers please).
And yes. We are newly weds (married November 2008).
And for the rest of the readers of this question. He's seen a shrink since he was 8 years old.
Then came a conversation that he likes bondage. (At first I was a little worried, and then decided yes everyone has a fetish). Then the conversation came down to 'play rape'. He said he never has done it, but is scared if he does he might like it, and it would frighten him). That he associates sex with pain (not the good kind) because of his abusive past.
But back on the subject, when I try to do more then just kiss or hug him. He starts to joke and pull away, or make some excuse to get me away from him. Then two minutes later he'll come over and ask me for a kiss and what not. Almost like he's teasing me, and I don't like it or appreciate what he's doing. I've also expressed this verbally. It's almost as if he takes in no consideration when I want sex. It's always when he wants and usually in the middle of the night on a weekday if anytime at all. On a night that I have to get up at 5am for work.
Any advise? (serious answers please).
And yes. We are newly weds (married November 2008).
And for the rest of the readers of this question. He's seen a shrink since he was 8 years old.