Love Kills
New member
First of all, my celibate lasts over 2 years and is not resulting from any religious believes.
So, I'm 18 years old chick. My first time was 2 years ago, out of curiosity rather than out of love, with a boyfriend, which i'd been in a crappy relation-shit with. The sex was not dramatic, yet it was not a sensation either, maybe due to poor relations we had had. What ever.
After the breake up, like 4 months after, I've scored a one-night-stander with a guy I had hardly known but it did not stop me from liking him and feeling sexual attraction to. Short 'friendship' ended with us landing in his bed, with him all delighted and me all in confusion. My ex had awaked my high sex drive and passion, so I felt the desire to screw this one. However, on the other hand, there was a strong sense of guilt because of morals. The sex itself was way better with the ex, but several times there was a voice in my head like 'What the F* are you doing ?!'. Things would probably go on with this guy if he didn't 'dumped' me, saying there's someone else he's with bla bla.
Then I realised I was doing something against myself. Against the way I was brought up. That I was dirty.
No, it's not the matter of religion. I'm an atheist and it doesnt stop me from feeling 'unclean'.
Anyhow, the 'moral hangover' had a big impact on me, leaving me with a fear of sex. I'm unable to have casual sex any more. There's no pleasure in getting laid and thinking 'What's gonna happen after we finish? What do I gain out of it?'
However, I'm not sexually satisfied and bf is the last thing im thinking of. The frustration is sometimes very veeeery high.
So. Moaning's over!
1. It is weird to stay such a long time in celibate?
2. How to cope with high sexual tension without having a bf?
3. Is it possible to engage in casual sex without feelings of guilt?
So, I'm 18 years old chick. My first time was 2 years ago, out of curiosity rather than out of love, with a boyfriend, which i'd been in a crappy relation-shit with. The sex was not dramatic, yet it was not a sensation either, maybe due to poor relations we had had. What ever.
After the breake up, like 4 months after, I've scored a one-night-stander with a guy I had hardly known but it did not stop me from liking him and feeling sexual attraction to. Short 'friendship' ended with us landing in his bed, with him all delighted and me all in confusion. My ex had awaked my high sex drive and passion, so I felt the desire to screw this one. However, on the other hand, there was a strong sense of guilt because of morals. The sex itself was way better with the ex, but several times there was a voice in my head like 'What the F* are you doing ?!'. Things would probably go on with this guy if he didn't 'dumped' me, saying there's someone else he's with bla bla.
Then I realised I was doing something against myself. Against the way I was brought up. That I was dirty.
No, it's not the matter of religion. I'm an atheist and it doesnt stop me from feeling 'unclean'.
Anyhow, the 'moral hangover' had a big impact on me, leaving me with a fear of sex. I'm unable to have casual sex any more. There's no pleasure in getting laid and thinking 'What's gonna happen after we finish? What do I gain out of it?'
However, I'm not sexually satisfied and bf is the last thing im thinking of. The frustration is sometimes very veeeery high.
So. Moaning's over!
1. It is weird to stay such a long time in celibate?
2. How to cope with high sexual tension without having a bf?
3. Is it possible to engage in casual sex without feelings of guilt?