hey friend, whether 38 or 48 it is so hard to let go of memories without pain,,,being able to walk or even exist without pain. I had surgery 2 years ago L5 S1 car accident and water slide finished me off...(even at 48) It has taken me 2 years to get to the point of even looking for people to talk to about the pain....I now have faced the fact that I am not getting better without getting help both mentally and physically. I have had all of the previous things done to have the spinal cord stimulator trial...they say that I am the perfect candidate for it since I have mostly let and foot pain... but we will see...any way my point was that whatever you have to do, talk to people, try to get up each day and ask for mercy and the Grace of God to get through the day. Try to make a difference in at least one persons life a day and getting involved will help you realize that other people are in the same boat as you...It has helped me so much....I am trying to get info on SCS ..Medtronic BRand....Thanks and God Bless You...