I sympathize with you, I really do. Anxiety is an exhausting, all-encompassing ordeal that you can't truly understand unless you suffer from it. I've had it since 2006 and I can honestly say that I would rather have a serious physical illness than suffer from extreme anxiety that won't relent. That being said, it is possible to live a relatively normal life with anxiety.
I can't tell you how to manage YOUR anxiety, because only you are capable of discovering that, but I can tell you that you definitely are capable of doing so. I used to feel as hopeless as you currently feel, but now I actually look forward to things in my life. For me there were 2 critical components of my recovery. First, I discarded any expectations I had about how I should feel. If I had a bad day or week, then so be it. My motto was to survive moment to moment and not to don't judge my progress in any way. The physical pain of anxiety is enough of a burden, I didn't want to invite emotional distress to the party. Second, I learned not to fear my physical symptons. I grew to accept whatever weird sensation I had and didn't worry what they might mean. This was hard to do because it meant that I had to accept my own mortality, that a headache might ACTUALLY BE CANCER or that my rapid heart rate could truly signal a heart attack. Once I was okay with the idea that I could die any minute, I no longer feared the worst. After that, my anxiety never was as intense as it used to be.
Of course I still have relapses, but they are usually short-lived and not nearly as bad as the full-blown panic that I used to experience. It's not ideal, but so what? Nobody lives in blissful happiness all the time. Just accept life as it comes at you and you will be much happier, I promise.
