I'm going to college in about a month. I've received two invitations already that advertise a lot of drinking. In addition there are pictures from past events of girls acting like sluts. The entire idea of these parties makes me really uncomfortable. Is This what all drinking parties are like? Do I have to drink in college? Do most girls act like that when drunk?
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Scared about partying in college?
- Thread starter abc123
- Start date
I've been in college for 5 years now. It has never been a problem for me. Hollywood tends to dramatize everything - college is no different. Drinking in college is about 25% of what people make it out to be.
Also, just like anything else in this life, you don't have to do what others do.
Also, just like anything else in this life, you don't have to do what others do.
No, but it is hard to control what one WILL act like when drunk, which is why, if you have standards you want to maintain, you will avoid getting that drunk. Those pictures, unfortunately, are the fantasies of many college men, and many shy girls may be attracted to those images as well, thinking that by drinking a lot, they could loosen up and get to know people. The invitations show these images because they seem wild and uncontrolled, which is appealing to many students moving away from home for the first time.
While the numbers of students who engage in binge drinking is far too high at most colleges, statistics show that even at the worst partying colleges, there is a substantial percentage of students who do NOT indulge in this. There are always plenty of things to do aside from going to drinking parties (and not every party at which alcohol is served is a "drinking party"). Look for a purpose beyond the drinking. If the party is to introduce you to the members of a club, or to raise money for charity, or something like that, there may be drinking, but they expect people to be sober enough to accomplish their purpose. If the whole purpose of the party seems to be drinking, and you are uncomfortable with that, then skip those.
Although I'm a faculty member and not a student, I've traveled with students to a competition at another university in the past. Students there put on a party at the end of the competition, and it always sounded to me to be far too focused on drinking. One year my students begged me to go with them, and I told them I wasn't comfortable being among a lot of really drunk people. So I would go with them for one drink, but then I would go home before people got really drunk. We went down to the hotel lobby, and it was obvious that a number of students from other schools had been drinking before the party, and were lurching around the lobby roaring and acting absurdly. I told my students that I wasn't comfortable with this and went back to my room. They went to the party. The next morning, the hotel's hallways had been trashed, and there were beer cans everywhere (the party had been at another location, but people had come back to the hotel after it was over). I later found out that people had been verbally abusive to one of my students on the bus going to the party (I had to contact the competition's faculty advisor and say that unless there was better training of student leaders or more supervision, I would not be bringing students back the next year). With one exception, none of my students had a good time, and all said I was right not to have gone and they wished they hadn't either. They were disgusted at the one student who did get really drunk and fully joined in. So yes, these parties do happen, and they happen too often at many colleges, but they aren't required of anyone, and you can always find something else to do and someone else to do it with. If you get excluded by everyone because you aren't into heavy drinking, you may need to rethink your college choice.
While the numbers of students who engage in binge drinking is far too high at most colleges, statistics show that even at the worst partying colleges, there is a substantial percentage of students who do NOT indulge in this. There are always plenty of things to do aside from going to drinking parties (and not every party at which alcohol is served is a "drinking party"). Look for a purpose beyond the drinking. If the party is to introduce you to the members of a club, or to raise money for charity, or something like that, there may be drinking, but they expect people to be sober enough to accomplish their purpose. If the whole purpose of the party seems to be drinking, and you are uncomfortable with that, then skip those.
Although I'm a faculty member and not a student, I've traveled with students to a competition at another university in the past. Students there put on a party at the end of the competition, and it always sounded to me to be far too focused on drinking. One year my students begged me to go with them, and I told them I wasn't comfortable being among a lot of really drunk people. So I would go with them for one drink, but then I would go home before people got really drunk. We went down to the hotel lobby, and it was obvious that a number of students from other schools had been drinking before the party, and were lurching around the lobby roaring and acting absurdly. I told my students that I wasn't comfortable with this and went back to my room. They went to the party. The next morning, the hotel's hallways had been trashed, and there were beer cans everywhere (the party had been at another location, but people had come back to the hotel after it was over). I later found out that people had been verbally abusive to one of my students on the bus going to the party (I had to contact the competition's faculty advisor and say that unless there was better training of student leaders or more supervision, I would not be bringing students back the next year). With one exception, none of my students had a good time, and all said I was right not to have gone and they wished they hadn't either. They were disgusted at the one student who did get really drunk and fully joined in. So yes, these parties do happen, and they happen too often at many colleges, but they aren't required of anyone, and you can always find something else to do and someone else to do it with. If you get excluded by everyone because you aren't into heavy drinking, you may need to rethink your college choice.