right im a 28 female havin same sex realionship with my friend.i treat both her kids the same 8 yr old son ad her daughter who is 10,we all play together including mum,but the daughter has been distant and moody most days, she ok when im around. it has come out with she is in love with me, im the best thing in the world, she misses me when im not around thinks about me all the time, basically im on a pedistal. she used to text me every night with general stuff turning into a loving text that she loves me and misses me and when might she see me again? i wud reply to the normal stuff, and just send her a hug goodnight. the daughter dont know of me and her mum.but apparently gets jealous when seing us togther, but we r now worried how this wil affect us getting together properly as they both r in love with me. both parents have spoke to her, the dad bein more sucessful than the mum, i spoke to her too, but she acted v wierd. like embarrased i told her i loved her and bro the same, and im an adult and she child. she wrote word 4 word what i said in her diary..she said it best moment in her life she loves me so much,but in a good way now and mentioned about me huggin her goodnoght then wrote the line from peter pan... i do beleive in fairies i do,i do.. havent a clue what thats meant to mean,.. i know we shudnt be readin her diary etc, but were worried about the confused girl. think she likes me cos she not got many friends, i play games and im nice to everyone. but its putting such a stress on me and her mum as were worried whats going to happen in the future...anyone with ideas or had same expereince?
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same sex teen crush on adult?
- Thread starter moomin
- Start date
this is quite a complicated issue.
i think that the best thing u can do is just be there as her 'aunt'... give her all the love u must give her, she will need it.. don't push her away...
BUT make sure that it is a 'auntie' kinda love, u knwo what i mean?
of course u can hug her, of course u can give her kisses in the cheek...
but if she ever tries to kiss u like a lover would, make sure u put a stop to her..
try NOT to spend more time with her than u spend with the son...
so that she knows that you DO lover her, but that you lover her as tho as she were your 'daughter' or 'niece' ...
also, i would advise u to try and spend less time with the kids...
if u see them every day... try and make it so that u only see them 4 times a week... tell them u've gotten really busy with work and u can't see them as often...
and keep trying to cut it down all the way to no more than 2 times a week...
i think that way she will get more used to NOT having you around and hopefully she will spend more times with her friends.
i would suggest you to tell her mom to put her in some kinda club...
maybe a dance club? or swimming club now in the summer maybe? or if she likes any sports? maybe volleyball or tennis?
u know i think that way she will be able to socialize more, she will be able to make more friends... and also doing some kinda activities she will be able to keep her mind occupied whether she likes it or not... u know what i mean?
she's only a 10 years old, she's infatuated with u... she probably thinks of u as a mother, but at the same time she knows that u r not her mother so she loves all the attention she gets from you... this is a really difficult situation, i don't think that you staying away from her will solve anything... she will miss you, she will want to be with u so badly, that she may get depressed... i don't think she deserves u to be cold to her or show in any way that u don't love he so that she gets disappointed -again she will get depressed- so i think that the best way to handle this situation is to show her all ur maternal/auntie kinda love to her... but as she is infatuated with u, i think it would be best to make her understand that u can't spend as much time with her because of the circumstances -such as you working, and her doing different activities-
i do definitely encourage u to convince her mother so that she can get involved in some kinda club activities especially now during the summer... i think it would really help to keep her distracted, she will learn something new, she will hopefully enjoy it - i mean kids at that age usually don't like to do things like sports or stuff like that in many cases- but hopefully she will enjoy it, and i think it will also help her to socialize with other people...
and try not to do absolutely anything with her mother in their presence even if they are sleeping or whatever.. u never know if they could wake up or something... i would advise that u do it when she's over at her dad's -they live separately right? that's how it sounded to me as u described the situation- or find some1 who can take care of the children so that u guys can have some alone time...
but i definitely would recommend that you hold urself and not do anything... no matter how slim the chances of them catching u... if there's the slightest chance of u guys getting caught... i would say DON'T do anything AT ALL...
and also the last thing i would suggest u, is that if she's old enough and understands... i think u guys should be honest and tell her about ur relationship... i mean she's a 10 years old, i tihnk she's sure to understand... but seeing as she's infatuated with u... i would probably suggest that u would tell her later on when she shows signs that she's no longer interested in u... but if it takes more than 2 years for her to forget u... i would say resort to that... do tell her the truth... so that she can assimilate it and be able to try and forget about u...
good luck with this situation, i know it's really complicated... but i think that some of the things i've said would be able to help u out... so give my advises a try and see how it works out for u
i think that the best thing u can do is just be there as her 'aunt'... give her all the love u must give her, she will need it.. don't push her away...
BUT make sure that it is a 'auntie' kinda love, u knwo what i mean?
of course u can hug her, of course u can give her kisses in the cheek...
but if she ever tries to kiss u like a lover would, make sure u put a stop to her..
try NOT to spend more time with her than u spend with the son...
so that she knows that you DO lover her, but that you lover her as tho as she were your 'daughter' or 'niece' ...
also, i would advise u to try and spend less time with the kids...
if u see them every day... try and make it so that u only see them 4 times a week... tell them u've gotten really busy with work and u can't see them as often...
and keep trying to cut it down all the way to no more than 2 times a week...
i think that way she will get more used to NOT having you around and hopefully she will spend more times with her friends.
i would suggest you to tell her mom to put her in some kinda club...
maybe a dance club? or swimming club now in the summer maybe? or if she likes any sports? maybe volleyball or tennis?
u know i think that way she will be able to socialize more, she will be able to make more friends... and also doing some kinda activities she will be able to keep her mind occupied whether she likes it or not... u know what i mean?
she's only a 10 years old, she's infatuated with u... she probably thinks of u as a mother, but at the same time she knows that u r not her mother so she loves all the attention she gets from you... this is a really difficult situation, i don't think that you staying away from her will solve anything... she will miss you, she will want to be with u so badly, that she may get depressed... i don't think she deserves u to be cold to her or show in any way that u don't love he so that she gets disappointed -again she will get depressed- so i think that the best way to handle this situation is to show her all ur maternal/auntie kinda love to her... but as she is infatuated with u, i think it would be best to make her understand that u can't spend as much time with her because of the circumstances -such as you working, and her doing different activities-
i do definitely encourage u to convince her mother so that she can get involved in some kinda club activities especially now during the summer... i think it would really help to keep her distracted, she will learn something new, she will hopefully enjoy it - i mean kids at that age usually don't like to do things like sports or stuff like that in many cases- but hopefully she will enjoy it, and i think it will also help her to socialize with other people...
and try not to do absolutely anything with her mother in their presence even if they are sleeping or whatever.. u never know if they could wake up or something... i would advise that u do it when she's over at her dad's -they live separately right? that's how it sounded to me as u described the situation- or find some1 who can take care of the children so that u guys can have some alone time...
but i definitely would recommend that you hold urself and not do anything... no matter how slim the chances of them catching u... if there's the slightest chance of u guys getting caught... i would say DON'T do anything AT ALL...
and also the last thing i would suggest u, is that if she's old enough and understands... i think u guys should be honest and tell her about ur relationship... i mean she's a 10 years old, i tihnk she's sure to understand... but seeing as she's infatuated with u... i would probably suggest that u would tell her later on when she shows signs that she's no longer interested in u... but if it takes more than 2 years for her to forget u... i would say resort to that... do tell her the truth... so that she can assimilate it and be able to try and forget about u...
good luck with this situation, i know it's really complicated... but i think that some of the things i've said would be able to help u out... so give my advises a try and see how it works out for u