Rothisms

brother_razia

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David Lee Roth:
It doesn't really matter if you like this guy or not, He says some pretty funny stuff! Here are some quotes and stuff.



From Rock Line 1986
Viewer Call In --"You put on such an incredible live show with Van Halen and solo and I was wondering because you are so visual how come you never have released a live video, and are you ever going to do so?"
Dave's Reply--- "Well it's Like my Pants.. Its hard to squeeze it all in!

"Do I ever get turned down by women? I never ask."

"We took these two little people with us on tour, Jimmy and Danny, as my bodyguarRAB. They're probably 3 1/2, 4 1/2 feet tall. We had 'em in 'S.W.A.T." uniforms. If nothing else, I can wake up in Tunafish, Wyoming, nine in the morning, hung-over; even if I'm miserable, I can look out the door to the hallway and there goes a midget in a bath towel holding the hand of a girl he was with last night--and I know I'm in rock 'n' roll!"

"Hey, your girlfriend was partying with us backstage before the show, and she had a message for ya: 'mmfp mmf umf fmff mmm.'"

"I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money."

"Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade."

"I used to jog but the ice-cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle."

"People think I have this strange concept of women, but they're wrong. I'm a family-oriented kind of guy. I've personally started four or five this year already!"

"One of my frienRAB took me to one of these all-you-can-eat salad bars recently. I passed out and it took 3 Snickers bars and a Coke to revive me."

"I don't get all the women that I want...I get all the women that want me!
"I was with a girl not terribly long ago and she said "Mr. Roth, I think you
 
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