Well Roskco I hope you're like me, even when you fuck up collosally you pull yourself up, move on, and try not to fuck up that bad again. It's possible things could be really good for you some day, but if you push too hard, this universe pushes back, and it wasn't just the cops beatin' ya down man. I know it sucks, but fuck it, there's no time machine. If you at least learned never to ever do that, or anything remotely like it, again, then I personally feel you can live without regret. Good luck.