Romantic Relationship Thread #27 ~ We All Want to Find Love

  • Thread starter Thread starter JamieScott
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Thanks Lem, I jusr remember how we were, all our personal jokes (very weird lol but funny) and how close we were :( It's not helping that a) I work with him and b) He shows his face in practically every dream I have.

I hate love. Lol. It sucks.
 
I think because the phone, internet and text messages are not so personal and aren't face to face, it makes it easier to misinterpret things like body language and with text and the internet, it makes it hard to hear the tone of someone's voice. On top of that, I think because you can hide behind those things and you don't have to see the person face to face, you can be a little more aggressive or dismissive about things. I know that there's been many times where I've misinterpreted what my bf has been trying to say just because you can't get a true sense of what someone means if the communication is not face to face.



Hmm, I would say no in most cases BUT in a loving, healthy relationship you have to learn to compromise. However, I am stubborn and like to sometimes prolong a fight with my bf just because I won't give in. Because that's such a negative personality trait to have, I am trying to change that and learn to compromise and talk through our problems just so our relationship runs more smoothly. In turn, he tries to be more understanding that I am stubborn and he's learning to be more patient with me. I think in cases like that it's different that a gf or bf just saying "I don't like your hair, change it." When compromise is needed, then I guess sometimes everyone can try hard to make it work. It cannot be all give and no take, and like I said, in a lot of cases, you shouldn't have to change who you really are. If it's something like "I don't like your sense of humour" or "I think you need to lose weight because you're fat" then definitely no!

That's really a hard question to answer. I hope I made some sense :look:
 
it can depend how far apart you two are. but generally, it's really hard to maintain like Lem said. i've been there twice & i don't think i'd ever want that again.
 
Thanks Lem.

That made a lot of sense and what I needed to hear. SHe is younger than me. Only three years though. And yes she is underage while I'm now an 'adult' so it is a legal issue if her parents decide to pull that card on me. I just don't get how I treat Julie right, I respect her, I love her, I do a lot for her, anything and everything and yet because I'm not a male, because I don't have a penis I'm more hated than if she was dating some ******* who treated her horribly. It's just rediculous to me.
 
I think the problem is me. I'm too insecure and have problems with my mood. I want to stop hurting him by arguing with him, but if he ever tells me he's leaving I fall apart, and crumble. :( I know it's unhealthy...it's giving me heart troubles. But at the same time it's almost like he knows how to wind me up.

Though I gotta admit, I do enjoy the making up :eyebrows:
 
I'm 21 and never had a boyfriend either..I sometimes think what your feeling, but at the end of the day I think that when it's meant to happen it will. Just hang in there, that right person will find you and you'll know ;)

As for me, I've got my eyes set on someone..now I'm just hoping for some sign that he feels the same. The only problem with us is, we work together and he's my supervisor..so it could get messy, but whatever..I really like him :love:
 
:hug: Love can be painful (especially with a first boyfriend) but there's always something to be learned. And it's odd how sometimes those feelings do just go away.

There's no magic formula for how to make things turn out right, and no two relationships are ever the same. A heart that has learned to love will have the courage and understanding to go forward into another relationship in the future.
 
It sounds like you're making a lot of excuses for him because you feel really desperate. And his behavior is feeding that sense of desperation. That's not a good place for you to be. Loving someone won't make them change into the person we think they should be.



It's obvious that you really want him to be loving and kind to you....and it's sadly unlikely that he will ever give you what you want. His need to manipulate the situation and your desire for approval just add up to a lot of heartache.

And as for the fact that you say he never treated you badly, I can only offer your own words as evidence to the contrary:






If a guy really cares, he puts you first. He might waste your time once, but he won't do it over and over again. He won't take your feelings for granted. He won't throw it in your face that he's attracted to another girl. And he won't act like an ass when he's around you.

You need someone to value you for yourself. :hug:
 
I'm sorry to hear about your seperation. And the struggles with your friend.

I'm not sure how someone can be in love with more than one person. I have loved more than one person, but not at the same time....
 
I can't really put myself in your shoes Jenny, but I can put myself in his sister's. My brother was in a long term relationship with a girl that I didn't think was a good person. I never tried to get in the middle of it, but they would both attempt to put me in the middle. They would come to me separately for advice or to find out what the other was doing or saying. I refused to say much if anything.

Communication is the key to any relationship and obviously these 2 didn't have a very good one, so they'd break up numerous times. Every time they did this I would tell my brother to move on and that he can do better, but he'd always end up back together with her. About 2 months ago they finally ended it for good. It's been hard on him because they had just moved into a new place and he's struggling to afford it on his own now, but I think in the long run he'll be better off for it.

I'm not suggesting that's what should happen with you Jenny, but I can see the sister's point of view. She'll always be there for him no matter what because they're blood, so you have to respect that.

I don't think ignoring her is the answer. If she got a chance to see how much you love him and that you'll always be there for him then she might be more accepting. You can't please everyone, but if you try to hide from her you'll never earn her respect.
 
He never treated me badly, it was when I went off the rails that I pushed myself away from him, becoming snappy, aggressive, clingy. We suffered and I want him to see I'm better now, that we could try again. Like today we went out together and we were fine, she didn't come up in conversation at all.
 
:lol: No trust me nothing wrong. I'm basically you're age and haven't had one either.

I think my trainer likes me but I don't know for sure. Is he just a big flirt? I hate the not knowing.
 
i know i like watching Eric cooking & peeling veggies, he's sexy lol. he might not be a good cook but still fun to cook with him.
 
Thank you everyone :blush: means alot. :hug:

Heres my lovely ring that I cherish so much.

engagement002.jpg


engagement001.jpg


And me wearing it with the two roses he gave me :sigh:

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:hug: A person who really cares about you will see all the good things that you are. :nod:




Long distance relationships can be hard to maintain but if both of you are really committed to one another you can make it work. :nod:
 
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