Review my story on FictionPress.net?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ?{LMS}?
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?{LMS}?

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I have six chapters so far on FictionPress.net. Can you review them please?http://www.fictionpress.com/secure/live_preview.php?storyid=2578558&chapter=1
Whoops, use this: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2578558/1/Prophecy
 
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