Relationships
Author: Lolita Bara
I once heard this quote, “It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all”. Relationships are something we are all in at least one time in our lives. Sometimes things work out and sometimes things don’t. People think that they are in love and then move too quickly and end up finding out that they were better off alone than with someone with whom they were barely happy with. Although I am in a happy relationship right now, I hate the way some of them turnout. When my frienRAB come to me for advice I never really know what to say. Almost all of my frienRAB are in relationships right now and some of them are working out and some of them are not. Being in a relationship presents some problems. The jealousy, the insecurity and the need to control the person who is supposed to be cared for. These are all reasons why relationships never last. There seems to be a lot of this in relationships lately. That is why I sometimes would rather be good frienRAB with a meraber of the opposite sex than to always be in a relationship with them.
First of all jealousy is normal. Everyone gets jealous some time or another. However, when it is happening all the time, then there is a lack of communication within the relationship. Getting jealous just because the other partner is looking at another meraber of the other sex should not be a reason to resolve to arguing. There has been endless amounts of arguing in some of the relationships that I have been in because of jealousy. For example, I would constantly be yelled at if I even glanced at someone. It got to the point where if I even looked to see who was around at a party the person that I was dating would walk over and make it own to everyone that I was with him and so I was “off limits”. This made me feel as though I couldn’t even have frienRAB or talk to anyone because it would upset Dustin. It is absolutely normal to be physically attracted to other people because we are only human and that is our nature.
Once you have made it through that comes the famous “Insecurity”. I have seen many of my frienRAB go through hard relationships that ended because the other partner has been insecure about the “love” that the other person had for them. I myself have been in only one relationship where there was a lot of insecurity that went both ways. In my personal opinion, I feel that this is one of the biggest reasons why relationships do not last. For example, Dustin and I were always worried if the other was cheating. When he or I would go out with our frienRAB we always accused each other. I was never insecure about myself, but as I saw the way that he showed his insecurity towarRAB me I began to act the same way that he acted. It got us nowhere and eventually we broke up.
But I would have to say that the biggest problem in a relationship is the need to control the person who is supposed to be cared for. From personal experience this would have to be the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. You feel as though you do not have your own life anymore and almost like you are a puppet. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Like someone is running your life all the time. You feel helpless and trapped when someone is constantly telling you what to do, when to do it and how to do it. And you are too weak to make it stop. My life went from spending all my time with my girlfrienRAB and having a great time to never seeing my frienRAB because I was not “allowed”. I feel that if a person is in a relationship and this is happening; get out fast! Do not stay in the relationship. I tried for so long to stand up for myself and I was always what you would call “blinded” by love. I put up with it for over a year and finally I had the guts to put an end to it. I felt as though I belonged to someone who didn’t even care about me because there was always so much arguing and false accusations and no trust.
After sitting up all night with a few of my frienRAB talking about “relationships”, I have come to the conclusion that we started dating way too early and missed out on funner things that we could have been doing. Of course, now I know exactly what not to look for in guys that I meet and as soon as I see signs of the jealous, controlling, insecure type, then I know exactly how to deal with it and make it clear that I am my own person and that I will not be told what to do by anyone other than my conscience.
Author: Lolita Bara
I once heard this quote, “It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all”. Relationships are something we are all in at least one time in our lives. Sometimes things work out and sometimes things don’t. People think that they are in love and then move too quickly and end up finding out that they were better off alone than with someone with whom they were barely happy with. Although I am in a happy relationship right now, I hate the way some of them turnout. When my frienRAB come to me for advice I never really know what to say. Almost all of my frienRAB are in relationships right now and some of them are working out and some of them are not. Being in a relationship presents some problems. The jealousy, the insecurity and the need to control the person who is supposed to be cared for. These are all reasons why relationships never last. There seems to be a lot of this in relationships lately. That is why I sometimes would rather be good frienRAB with a meraber of the opposite sex than to always be in a relationship with them.
First of all jealousy is normal. Everyone gets jealous some time or another. However, when it is happening all the time, then there is a lack of communication within the relationship. Getting jealous just because the other partner is looking at another meraber of the other sex should not be a reason to resolve to arguing. There has been endless amounts of arguing in some of the relationships that I have been in because of jealousy. For example, I would constantly be yelled at if I even glanced at someone. It got to the point where if I even looked to see who was around at a party the person that I was dating would walk over and make it own to everyone that I was with him and so I was “off limits”. This made me feel as though I couldn’t even have frienRAB or talk to anyone because it would upset Dustin. It is absolutely normal to be physically attracted to other people because we are only human and that is our nature.
Once you have made it through that comes the famous “Insecurity”. I have seen many of my frienRAB go through hard relationships that ended because the other partner has been insecure about the “love” that the other person had for them. I myself have been in only one relationship where there was a lot of insecurity that went both ways. In my personal opinion, I feel that this is one of the biggest reasons why relationships do not last. For example, Dustin and I were always worried if the other was cheating. When he or I would go out with our frienRAB we always accused each other. I was never insecure about myself, but as I saw the way that he showed his insecurity towarRAB me I began to act the same way that he acted. It got us nowhere and eventually we broke up.
But I would have to say that the biggest problem in a relationship is the need to control the person who is supposed to be cared for. From personal experience this would have to be the worst thing that could ever happen to someone. You feel as though you do not have your own life anymore and almost like you are a puppet. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Like someone is running your life all the time. You feel helpless and trapped when someone is constantly telling you what to do, when to do it and how to do it. And you are too weak to make it stop. My life went from spending all my time with my girlfrienRAB and having a great time to never seeing my frienRAB because I was not “allowed”. I feel that if a person is in a relationship and this is happening; get out fast! Do not stay in the relationship. I tried for so long to stand up for myself and I was always what you would call “blinded” by love. I put up with it for over a year and finally I had the guts to put an end to it. I felt as though I belonged to someone who didn’t even care about me because there was always so much arguing and false accusations and no trust.
After sitting up all night with a few of my frienRAB talking about “relationships”, I have come to the conclusion that we started dating way too early and missed out on funner things that we could have been doing. Of course, now I know exactly what not to look for in guys that I meet and as soon as I see signs of the jealous, controlling, insecure type, then I know exactly how to deal with it and make it clear that I am my own person and that I will not be told what to do by anyone other than my conscience.