Here is my situation:
I have a best friend, who i also consider my partner.
We both used to use a certain "substance" (not going to list what it was, thats not important now). We both decided to get clean, and have been sober for about a year now. We live in different places, and tonight i spent half the night at his apartment. During the last 2 hours i spent there, i could not sleep, and just wanted to go home. The reason i couldnt sleep, or "settle down" is that when i met him, we were both users, and we always used to go to his apartment and use this substance. So i layed there and couldnt stop thinking about using. Its not him, its the atmosphere in his apartment because we always used to use heavily there.
And as i said, we are both sober now, and both have been, i know this for a fact, even on his part, we are open and honest with each other.
Im not in a situation where he can come and spend the night with me here, so its his place or no place. He took me home, and i explained the issue. He is now giving me the cold shoulder, even though he said he understands, and could see i was upset. I explained this all to him, and that its not him, but he still is acting like i upset him.
What do i do? i dont know how to explain this any better to him and make him not upset or irritated with me. I feel guilty, but i am not comfortable at his apartment anymore, i just makes me think of using and the "good ol' days".
Please help me, this is so difficult.
(Also, please dont tell me im a druggie or bash me for that, that point in my life is over, whats in the past is in the past, and im not thinking of using again, i just need help as far as what to do about him being irritated with me).
Thanks
@Sam - That does not help me much, sorry. It all has to do with our past, and having us both met while being substance users. From the beginning, all we did at his place was constantly use, and have a good time watch movies, etc. But now his physical apartment and even furniture just reminds me of where we used to do substance and i cant not think about it when im over there, because the norm for us was to go there, and use. now it is not an option for us to do this, and its something i miss greatly. So other than having him get a new apartment and all, what should i do? I have alot of respect for him and care for him deeply. But i need advice on adjusting to being sober with him in a physical place where we both ALWAYS used substance in our past.
@Sam - *advice on adjusting as well as how to make him understand me more on this topic and not give me a guilt trip because i didnt spend the entire night with him.
I have a best friend, who i also consider my partner.
We both used to use a certain "substance" (not going to list what it was, thats not important now). We both decided to get clean, and have been sober for about a year now. We live in different places, and tonight i spent half the night at his apartment. During the last 2 hours i spent there, i could not sleep, and just wanted to go home. The reason i couldnt sleep, or "settle down" is that when i met him, we were both users, and we always used to go to his apartment and use this substance. So i layed there and couldnt stop thinking about using. Its not him, its the atmosphere in his apartment because we always used to use heavily there.
And as i said, we are both sober now, and both have been, i know this for a fact, even on his part, we are open and honest with each other.
Im not in a situation where he can come and spend the night with me here, so its his place or no place. He took me home, and i explained the issue. He is now giving me the cold shoulder, even though he said he understands, and could see i was upset. I explained this all to him, and that its not him, but he still is acting like i upset him.
What do i do? i dont know how to explain this any better to him and make him not upset or irritated with me. I feel guilty, but i am not comfortable at his apartment anymore, i just makes me think of using and the "good ol' days".
Please help me, this is so difficult.
(Also, please dont tell me im a druggie or bash me for that, that point in my life is over, whats in the past is in the past, and im not thinking of using again, i just need help as far as what to do about him being irritated with me).
Thanks
@Sam - That does not help me much, sorry. It all has to do with our past, and having us both met while being substance users. From the beginning, all we did at his place was constantly use, and have a good time watch movies, etc. But now his physical apartment and even furniture just reminds me of where we used to do substance and i cant not think about it when im over there, because the norm for us was to go there, and use. now it is not an option for us to do this, and its something i miss greatly. So other than having him get a new apartment and all, what should i do? I have alot of respect for him and care for him deeply. But i need advice on adjusting to being sober with him in a physical place where we both ALWAYS used substance in our past.
@Sam - *advice on adjusting as well as how to make him understand me more on this topic and not give me a guilt trip because i didnt spend the entire night with him.