ilikebuttons
New member
Me and my bf have been together for 4 yrs now.We're kinda in away like h.s. sweethearts.I meet him at the age of 15 turning 16,and he was 18 turning 19.This 4 yrs have been a rollerocoaster ride,filled with different emotions, falling in love,commitment,tragedies,heartache,more love,sex,weed,other drugs,school,growing up, long distance at some point ,meeting each other's families ect ect.I love him very much I do,but at the same time I wonder what's out there,cause he was all I knew.With me and him it's who can do the most fucked up shit each other,the good can outweight the bad for a moment and then the bad outweights the good.He says my love is fake,he thinks he owns me,becuase he helped me lose wieght at first,I used to be fat i used be 194 lb and now i am 130 lbs and grew like 2 inches on height ,take care of myself,like to good,hit the gym.I have a social life now,i have my friends,I have confidence now,I go out to clubs,party hard,I grew thicker skin,and no longer feel down when ppl make fun of me.I think he might be intimaidated by this,and he is kinda of jeaolous now.We argue we do,it can get pretty bad at times,it can even get to physical altercation,yup.I love him very much though,and even though I feel we are both losing our minds,I still see my prince in him,my future husband in him.He says he loves me alot,and he is gonna marry me.We still see the future,me finishing college with my degree,and he's graduating with a bachelor's this may.We see each other together succesful,but sometime I do wonder.I asked him are you obesse with me matt?he said yes,you made me this way and I was like wtf no i didn't.He went on to explain that i made him this way to obessed with me clingy and needy.I fulfilled his every fantasy he said,and I made him see me all the time 24/7,he went ton to explain how am I supposed to not be obessesed with you?it creepd me out abit,and it was like whoa wth?I am caught in a bad romance,and sometimes it is too much for me too handle it hurts,and stress me out just like it stresses him out.He deserves better,I cheated on him last year in first semester in college last fall.He does he is sweet,and nice,caring,intelligent and good looking a true catch,but it gets so bad at times with us that all his good qualities are thrown out the door when we argue and fight and yell.We're on a break as of know we're trying this open realtionship thingy,I do need my space,I need to think things through,but he won't be understanding of that.I still have too see him,although at time i do want too see him ,they're are days were we see each other simply because he just came too my house too come see me.ugh.I feel in love with him too quickly,he broke my heart at first,and our realtionship was based on smoking weed and sex at first,sad but true our base of our realtionship for most of the first yr was beside on that.he neglected me when we were stuck in a long distance relationship.I guess this is my payback for him for treating me that way at 16 17 and even 18 what should I do now..what? i still love him,but it's soo hard,don't know what to do i am holding on to this dream but how much longer can I hold?