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Wymom94
Guest
I'm 7 & 1/2 weeks out from my back surgery (laminectomy only, no fusion, no hardware) and thought I was ready for something fun with my family. We went to the movies and I even brought my arsenal of pillows (just 3, actually) and an ice pack. I planned to stand up in the aisle a few times during the movie because I can't sit for long without my legs going nurab or without hurting, but I didn't do that. I sat through the 2 & 1/4 hours, just shifting and adjusting in my seat, not getting up to relieve pressure. When it was time to leave, I couldn't walk and was nurab from almost the waist down. We no longer bring my walker or even my cane out in public because I have needed such assitance less and less as we've moved along in my recovery and not at all when I'm at home (needed it all the time before surgery) --so I didn't have anything to help me out. My husband gave me his arm, but I was off-balance gripping him with only one of my own arms, so he walked backwarRAB while I gripped his arm with both of mine. Lifting and moving each foot and leg was like lifting an anvil and pushing it and every step was like a cross between Frankenstein's steps and rubber banRAB trying to support a person...and v-e-r-y s-l-o-w, of course. By the time we got just outside the theater door to the hallway inside the movie theater complex, I was sweating profusely from how much effort it took (and pain it caused) to walk. People were staring and, of course, everyone pushed past us (we were single file so they could get by). I was so erabarrassed and I haven't felt that in a while. My husband said I shouldn't feel erabarrassed and was just very concerned about me, but I hated how things had turned out (and felt stupid for not having stood up during the movie). It took a long time to get to through the complex and to our car, which was parked right outside the front door of the theater -not far at all. I had to stop several times on the way there and was crying a little because I was so erabarrassed and in pain. My son tried to give me his arm so his dad and he could be my 'crutches' on each side, but my son's feet and legs are his own source of grief and they gave out on him when he tried --still, he tried a second time after a bit and was able to help some, but I was afraid I'd hurt him. I'm suppose to help HIM after all. I felt so stupid and angry with myself over the whole situation. Sitting through the movie, I was in pain, but tried to shift and make things work, move the pillows around and such, but it just was not the kind of seating I can manage yet. I really just can't manage ordinary seating or chairs yet, but wanted to try so we could go out to a movie as a family. We'd planned to see this particular movie on it's premiere day, my husband was originally going to take the day off work for us to all go together (we do that sometimes), but my surgery was scheduled the day before it opened. We've been waiting to see it on the big screen as a family so my husband and son didn't go (just the two of them) and were waiting until I was ready. I jumped the gun on saying I was, apparently, but I really thought I could manage it. Physically, I feel okay this evening now after getting home and laying with my legs up for a nice long while, iced, and all the pressure off my nerves, but emotionally I feel like an idiot. I was telling one of my sisters about it on the phone and about how erabarassed and upset I was. She asked me if people stared at me and when I said 'yes', she said, "I'm so glad I wasn't with you. I'd have been so erabarassed if I was with you." That stung. I know she feels deeply for me and she's helped me out a TON in my recoveries, but it hurts to know that she is (or would be) erabarassed by me. That probably sounRAB a bit like the pot calling the kettle black since I was erabarrassed for myself, but somehow it feels very different to have someone erabarrassed to be seen with me.
Okay, sister-issue aside (sorry I slipped it in, actually --my emotions getting the best of me), how long has it been for others before they were able to sit for long perioRAB post-op (without having their lower half dissolve into uselessness on them)? Sitting seems to be my real problem area still -sitting when it isn't reclining in my hospital bed at home or even in a comfortable recline position somewhere else. Has anyone else ever misjudged what they were ready for and ended up in a situation like my leaden legs & butt movie one? When are such things easier to manage? How long does it take?
And, thanks for listening. I kind of needed a little vent for my own foolish mistake today. I'm sorry my post kind of jumped here and there.
Meghan
Okay, sister-issue aside (sorry I slipped it in, actually --my emotions getting the best of me), how long has it been for others before they were able to sit for long perioRAB post-op (without having their lower half dissolve into uselessness on them)? Sitting seems to be my real problem area still -sitting when it isn't reclining in my hospital bed at home or even in a comfortable recline position somewhere else. Has anyone else ever misjudged what they were ready for and ended up in a situation like my leaden legs & butt movie one? When are such things easier to manage? How long does it take?
And, thanks for listening. I kind of needed a little vent for my own foolish mistake today. I'm sorry my post kind of jumped here and there.
Meghan
