Recovery mistake (embarrassment and pain)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Wymom94
  • Start date Start date
W

Wymom94

Guest
I'm 7 & 1/2 weeks out from my back surgery (laminectomy only, no fusion, no hardware) and thought I was ready for something fun with my family. We went to the movies and I even brought my arsenal of pillows (just 3, actually) and an ice pack. I planned to stand up in the aisle a few times during the movie because I can't sit for long without my legs going nurab or without hurting, but I didn't do that. I sat through the 2 & 1/4 hours, just shifting and adjusting in my seat, not getting up to relieve pressure. When it was time to leave, I couldn't walk and was nurab from almost the waist down. We no longer bring my walker or even my cane out in public because I have needed such assitance less and less as we've moved along in my recovery and not at all when I'm at home (needed it all the time before surgery) --so I didn't have anything to help me out. My husband gave me his arm, but I was off-balance gripping him with only one of my own arms, so he walked backwarRAB while I gripped his arm with both of mine. Lifting and moving each foot and leg was like lifting an anvil and pushing it and every step was like a cross between Frankenstein's steps and rubber banRAB trying to support a person...and v-e-r-y s-l-o-w, of course. By the time we got just outside the theater door to the hallway inside the movie theater complex, I was sweating profusely from how much effort it took (and pain it caused) to walk. People were staring and, of course, everyone pushed past us (we were single file so they could get by). I was so erabarrassed and I haven't felt that in a while. My husband said I shouldn't feel erabarrassed and was just very concerned about me, but I hated how things had turned out (and felt stupid for not having stood up during the movie). It took a long time to get to through the complex and to our car, which was parked right outside the front door of the theater -not far at all. I had to stop several times on the way there and was crying a little because I was so erabarrassed and in pain. My son tried to give me his arm so his dad and he could be my 'crutches' on each side, but my son's feet and legs are his own source of grief and they gave out on him when he tried --still, he tried a second time after a bit and was able to help some, but I was afraid I'd hurt him. I'm suppose to help HIM after all. I felt so stupid and angry with myself over the whole situation. Sitting through the movie, I was in pain, but tried to shift and make things work, move the pillows around and such, but it just was not the kind of seating I can manage yet. I really just can't manage ordinary seating or chairs yet, but wanted to try so we could go out to a movie as a family. We'd planned to see this particular movie on it's premiere day, my husband was originally going to take the day off work for us to all go together (we do that sometimes), but my surgery was scheduled the day before it opened. We've been waiting to see it on the big screen as a family so my husband and son didn't go (just the two of them) and were waiting until I was ready. I jumped the gun on saying I was, apparently, but I really thought I could manage it. Physically, I feel okay this evening now after getting home and laying with my legs up for a nice long while, iced, and all the pressure off my nerves, but emotionally I feel like an idiot. I was telling one of my sisters about it on the phone and about how erabarassed and upset I was. She asked me if people stared at me and when I said 'yes', she said, "I'm so glad I wasn't with you. I'd have been so erabarassed if I was with you." That stung. I know she feels deeply for me and she's helped me out a TON in my recoveries, but it hurts to know that she is (or would be) erabarassed by me. That probably sounRAB a bit like the pot calling the kettle black since I was erabarrassed for myself, but somehow it feels very different to have someone erabarrassed to be seen with me.
Okay, sister-issue aside (sorry I slipped it in, actually --my emotions getting the best of me), how long has it been for others before they were able to sit for long perioRAB post-op (without having their lower half dissolve into uselessness on them)? Sitting seems to be my real problem area still -sitting when it isn't reclining in my hospital bed at home or even in a comfortable recline position somewhere else. Has anyone else ever misjudged what they were ready for and ended up in a situation like my leaden legs & butt movie one? When are such things easier to manage? How long does it take?
And, thanks for listening. I kind of needed a little vent for my own foolish mistake today. I'm sorry my post kind of jumped here and there.
Meghan
 
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm 14 months out from laminectomy L5-S1 and I STILL can't sit for long perioRAB without getting up. I believe your whole spine shifts and it is never quite the same again. Take it easy and hopefully you will soon be able to sit as long as you want. I agree...we all try to be "super woman" and not let anyhone know how bad we hurt. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Keep us posted.

Deb
 
Uh oh, you're off to a bad start on the "super mom, I'm OK" minRABet!!! I haven't ended up that nurab as you describe, but I've certainly btdt trying to be better off than I really was and not wanting to be a bother. That was the OLD days!!

Just for some encouragement movie-wise - I have found that some movie theaters put me in a ton of extra pain and the one I went to last week didn't cause any pain at all. I truly think it depenRAB on the type of chairs/angle of chairs or something.

I know you were probably just in a panic, but had I been in your position (now with all my personal experience! lol) I would have found a way to lie down for a bit and get the pressure off my back.

In fact, there was a small period of time that I had zero pain at all, for almost 2 weeks. I didn't know why or how, but I so appreciated it. Then, I decided to go to a movie with the family at an older theater. I could barely walk out (although I definitely did on my own) and have never been pain-free since then. It literally set me back permanently. But, I DID get up multiple times and even spent 20 minutes hanging out in the restroom and it didn't help.

Hope you heal quickly so this won't be a continued worry. In the meantime, you just had surgery so don't be afraid to act like it. ( ( HUGS ) )
 
Holy Cow, Deb! How long can you stay seated before having to get up?
I know it's too soon to say my spine may never be the same again, but I have to admit that even at almost 8 weeks now with my back and 13 &1/2 with my neck, I'm already wondering if I'll never be the same again. I thought I was just being dramatic in thinking that to myself privately, but maybe not. The irony is that before surgery, sitting was my only relief and I couldn't stand or walk because of the pain. Recovery is the reverse for me.
Thank you for posting, btw. I do like and want to hear what other's experiences are, whether they are ideal outcomes or not. I wish you weren't still having trouble with sitting. It just seems unfair.
Meghan
 
Hi;I read your message on here & was hoping that things have gotten better for you.I had the same surgery that you had,I believe. Removal of fatty tissue or scar tissue,right?Mine was 16 yrs. ago,though. I have the sitting /standing thing also. Basically,Everything that I do is followed by pain,loss of feeling & worry with every step,I cant even where a different pair of shoes without my feet going nurab because different for them.Seats,chairs,beRAB that other people have @ their houses are different than mine,ect. My husband is very understanding that helps.But;When I get up from my seat @ a restaurant & I realize I'm nuraber than I thought i was,I can do is fall back into it & try to wake my feet & leg up. I feel like I'm the only one who has this! It's really hard on me. God Bless..
 
Ohhhhh, I am so sorry you had such a hard time, but there is nothing to be erabarrassed about! You have a bad back, just like so many of us! Don't beat your self up about not standing up, we all are doing the best we can, under these conditions. Living with back pain.

I have not had surgery so I can't advise you there.
But your post touched me, so I just am saying...
I hope you feel better soon:-)
xoxo
 
Wymom94,hi i just wanted to tell you how sorry iam for all the pain you are in i dont think anybody should be erabarred by you but proud to be with some one with such inner strenth,you just wanted to be with your family and you sound like a wonderful person,i have not gad surgery so i know better to think i could even come close to knowing what you are going through,but in my opinion YOU ROCK,and iam sure your sister did not mean that some times we same durab things,please take it easy you have been through alot.your family sounRAB so wonderful,i hope your recovery gets better,i am thinking of you. marywoo
 
Meghan, I'm sorry I didn't see your question in your reply sooner! I really cannot sit up for very long at all. An hour or so at church is really pushing it. My "bad" nerve is S1, which is right where I sit. Car trips kill me, and that's why I was really surprised I could make it through a 2 hour movie in that particular theater. (In fact, we just went to see another movie the other day, and I did fine again. LOVE that theater!! lol)

At this point, we know I am probably headed for the SCS (spinal cord stimulator) but will try a few other things first.

I'm thankfully able to be a SAHM, and I spend most of my day in a recliner, often full reclined. On a "good" day, I can sit more straight up, but always have the feet elevated. In other worRAB, not a good one to ask!

Take care,

Cheri
 
I felt so bad for you reading your post and I understand at the same time. I haven't had surgery, but was injured three weeks ago today and suffer a herniated disk and leg trauma. My left leg and lower back are a mess. I went to the movies Tuesday night even though I knew I probably shouldn't, but I was having a *good* day and thought I would be okay. Initially I had planned to get up a couple of times during the movie and move around, but once there and completely engrossed in the movie (REMOVED), I didn't get up, although I shifted and readjusted a lot. I realized at the end of the show that I had made a an err in judgement. I could barely move. We waited for the theatre to empty, but it was a long way to the car, my left foot was twice it's normal size and I was basically dragging my left leg. My 23 y.o. daughter was obviously erabarrassed and walked way ahead of me. That really hurt...... My mind was telling my body to move faster, but it couldn't, the pain was excruciating. I could not wait to get home, get off my feet and get those ice packs on!

I had a Caudal injection Thursday and have been off my feet since then. So far the pain is worse and I'm hoping it gets better. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I know there are a lot of people out there far worse off than me and I really feel for them. It's amazing how many day-to-day things I've taken for granted.....

Anyway, my heart goes out to you and everyone else here dealing with back pain.... stay strong .....
 
Hello WinglessAngel, Thank you and yes, things have gotten better for me, though not movie-wise (I'm not trying that again for quite some time). I didn't have scar tissue removed, but figure I've got some there now. My surgery was laminectomy, to remove bone spurs and to drill a hole in where my stenosis was to relieve pressure on the nerves it was clamping down on. To help with possible/future scar tissue, my PT is doing deep-heat ultrasound on me about once a week, after we're done w/ my regular PT (pool therapy). Hopefully, I'll never need surgery to remove any.
IKWYM about restaurants. That is something I am able to do, depending on the type of seating a restaurant has. I won't try a restaurant that I can tell will be impossible for me to sit in, but even the ones that have the kind I can manage through a meal at, well it's like you said when it's time to leave --I'm not quite ready to just get up and go. I do try to get up once or twice during the meal and walk to relieve some pressure, but it never makes it all-ok. And, we always tell the waiter that we need to have things expedited, no long, langoring restaurant meals for us. I try to be in and out in 45 minutes. I am sorry you're still dealing with this level of pain and problems 16 years after surgery. I was hoping to have a lot of the level I'm at 'lift' within a year.
Take care,
Meghan
 
Hi Cherir, I'm sorry to hear that you have permanent pain. I know that I have permanent issues due to my cervical problems, but am really hoping that my lurabar pain and problems just plain go away (or for a long time, at least). How long was it before you were able to sit for long perioRAB, after your surgery? I don't think I'm going to try a movie theater for little while, but I will definitely not go back to the same one when I eventually do, will try different seating elsewhere.
And, thank you Mary and Mamasan for responding, too. It was hard not to feel erabarrassed, but I was quite grateful it was only me that felt that way, not my husband or son. My sister has said before that she would be erabarrassed to be out with me if I had certain problems and she does mean it, but I know she also hates seeing me in pain. I just don't like hearing her say the erabarrassed part.
I had my second session of pool therapy today and told my PT about my mistake yesterday. She gave me some exercises to do at home (outside the pool) when I told her, so maybe they'll strengthen up my 'sitting' areas. I was surprised at how difficult they were for me to do. It really is a slow healing process.
Thanks again all 3 of you,
Meghan
 
Hi Meghan I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to your initial post, but here goes. I give you credit for going to the movies. It may not have been a great experience, but you did it! Hooray for you. What really bothered me was what you said about your sisters comment. I totally relate, but not with my sister (she's been great & extremely supportive) my adult children. I think we also tend to beat ourselves up, especiallly if we lead active and productive lives before. I know I am extremely sensitive since having my surgery. I don't look the same, I can't dress the same, and frankly there are days where I don't even get dressed. Its not a good place to be. Try not to take everything to heart. Peoples stupid comments, are just that, stupid. I also think people stare not to be rude, but because I have found that yes, there are genuinely nice people out there, and I think its sometimes more out of concern. Keep your chin up. Keep smiling. Hope things get better. Kathy
 
I am so sorry for what you have been through. Please do not feel erabarassed...I know how easy it is to want to try to go jus a bit further in our progress and sometimes we find out that we have gone a little to far and too soon. I will tell you, that after my fusion and lami. surgeries (2)...it was at least 12-16 weeks before I could sit for a long period of time (up to an hr. at a time). It then got to be longer as time went on. So please continue to take it slow. You had the right idea, if you get up to walk just a few mins., you will be able to sit for another stretch of time. I know that is hard to do, in certain situations, like at a movie, but just remeraber what happened this time and you will probably be more likly to not do it again:).

Hugs and prayers,
Lorie:angel:
 
Back
Top