Code Geass Parody: Episode 22
Sorry Otaku, But Your Trainwreck Is In Another Series!
GENERIC NARRATOR: Okay, let's hear this great idea of yours.
KALLEN: *ahem*
Even if I'm enslaved in a cycle of fanservice, I'll punch my oppressors in the face!
Even when surrounded by fanboy pandering and underdeveloped relationships, I'll live a rebel to the end!
This burning hand of mine tells me to live and die for the my cause, for the power of G compels me!
GORGEOUS FIGHTER, GUREN MEISTER!
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?
GENERIC NARRATOR: Unfortunately, that's kind of been done. Instead, you're going to ask Lelouch why he doesn't love you.
KALLEN: What! That is totally nuts!
GENERIC NARRATOR: True, but so is most of this upcoming episode.
KALLEN: Yeah right. How crazy could it be?
GENERIC NARRATOR: Rivalz finally does something important.
KALLEN: Whoa.
GENERIC NARRATOR: I know!
KALLEN: But......what does any of that have to do with me getting the respect that I deserve?
GENERIC NARRATOR: Uh......um......TODAY, ON CODE GEASS! EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WAS WRONG!
FANBOYS: AMAZING!
KALLEN: HEY!
****THEME SONG****
REPORTER: For those that are just joining us, this anime series just went through a convenient but rushed time skip that has rendered Britannia's aristocracy obsolete. Here's some pictures of destruction, since we know that this gets ratings.
TAMAKI: DUDE! ZERO WAS GOOD AFTER ALL!
TODOH: Nah. Sure, he's destroying our most hated enemy from the inside and this is without a doubt to our benefit, but he made us look durab.
XING-KE: Unforgivable!
OUGI: That's right!
NAGISA: I'll just agree with the men.
KALLEN: You suck.
NAGISA: Maybe so, but at least I have a trustworthy and dependable love interest.
BLACK KNIGHTS: OOOOOOOOOH, BURNED!
KALLEN: Must...restrain...fist...
TAMAKI: MAN, I'm telling you guys! He's totally on our side! At this very moment, he's probably serving ultimate justice as befits the hero of this series!
LELOUCH: LELOUCH BRITANNIA COMMANRAB YOU! WEAR STUPID MASKS AND BE MY SLAVES!
BRITANNIAN SOLDIERS: ALL HAIL LELOUCH!
GENERIC NARRATOR: Aaaaah, predictable irony!
SUZAKU: Don't worry, folks. We're still the good guys because......
C.C. Because?
SUZAKU: Sorry, I'm not allowed to reveal the amazing truth about the Zero Requiem until the final episode.
C.C. Aren't we adding a paralyzing amount of moral arabiguity in the attempt to create enough suspense to make sure that everyone keeps watching?
SUZAKU: Damn right!
C.C. Ah. Well, I'm glad we have that cleared up.
SUZAKU: Me too. Now, soldiers, just like I trained you! See me off!
BRITANNIAN SOLDIERS: SIEG ZEON! ZAKUS RULE!
SUZAKU: Damn right they do!
SUNRISE EXECUTIVE: Product placement rules!
LELOUCH: Am I the only one who wonders how and why he keeps showing up?
GENERIC NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at Ashford Academy!
MILLY: Well, now that Japan belongs to Japanese again, maybe I'll go home to the mainland.
NINA: I'd ask what you're still doing here now that you've graduated, but odRAB are no one is interested.
MILLY: Hey, it's me, and this is Ashford Academy. The writers don't need a reason to give me screen time!
RIVALZ: What up, ladies! I'm staying relevant to the story by shilling for Pizza Hut. I'll bet that this display of generosity and thoughtfulness makes you want to fall madly in love with me!
MILLY: Nope! Well, see you both later!
RIVALZ: ........I'm so lonely.
GENERIC NARRATOR: Meanwhile, cannon fodder approaches Britannia!
BISMARCK: BEHOLD OUR RECKLESS YET BELATED ATTACK! We're so badass that we don't need to think through a sensible battle plan.
GINO: IT'S ON! ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!
DOROTHEA: Here we go!
MONICA: Undeveloped token women for the win!
SUZAKU: You all won't win! I am the Knight of Zero, and for the sake of the Zero Requiem I must succeed!
BISMARCK: Ha, what a stupid title! Surely you realize that zero has absolutely no value! Just like you!
BRITANNIAN SOLDIERS: OOOOOOOOH, BURN!
SUZAKU: That's what YOU think!
****Cue "Meteor" from "Mobile Suit Gundam Seed"****
BISMARCK: WHAT THE HELL! THAT'S CHEATING!
SUZAKU: As this episode's lackluster writing is about to demonstrate, the pen is mighter than the robot! ATTACK, LANCELOT ALBION!
DOROTHEA: BLARG! I EXPLODE!
MONICA: At least my death has no meaning to the audience!
GINO: Damn you, Suzaku! I will defeat you here, now, today!
SUZAKU: Gundam Seed Ideology Attack! Am I the enemy that you should really be fighting? Truly?
GINO: ARGH! This argument is overwhelming! WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR?!
SUZAKU: Hahaha, three down! Killing everyone else is fine, but sparing the enemy I know is A-OK!
BISMARCK: You won't have it so easy against me. I am the Knight of One, and I have a massive sword!
SUZAKU: Ooooh, special. You and one hundred other anime characters.
GEASS WRITERS: BOrabSHELL TIME!
BISMARCK: I just happen to also be capable of reading the future with my Geass!
SUZAKU: Oh yeah? Well my Geass makes me stronger even though it was a liability against you in our last battle!
BISMARCK: NO! I AM DEFEATED! BUT HOW?
GENERIC NARRATOR: How, indeed! What changed in just a month?
LELOUCH: Sure, I could explain it by talking about Suzaku's very interesting character development since his first fight with Bismarck. Instead though, I'll just say that it works because I'm the protagonist and because I say so.
SUZAKU: Works for me!
LELOUCH: Hear me, people of the world! Now that those undeveloped minions are out of the way, I hereby announce Britannia's desire to join the UFN! There will be world peace! And what better place to negotiate that peace than a school in Japan!
OUGI: The man speaks sense!
KAGUYA: Let's do it!
TAMAKI: Wow! I'm actually going to be right about something!
XING-KE: Don't jinx it, you twit.
GENERIC NARRATOR: And so, Emperor Lelouch arrived at Ashford Academy.
RIVALZ: LELOUCH! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING! LELOUCH!
LELOUCH: Aloof attitude mode, go! I care for nothing!
RIVALZ: Don't just walk away! Damn it, I'll get involved in the plot if it kills me!
NINA: A somewhat appealing possibility! Come on! We'll try to be relevant together!
RIVALZ: Thanks, Nina! You're the best WMD-inventing friend that I've ever had!
NINA: Ugh. I'm regretting this already.
KALLEN: Well, Lelouch. I'll bet you want to talk about your feelings, now that we've finally met again and I've spent the last minute talking about what you meant to me.
LELOUCH: Nope.
KALLEN: Well, here's a kiss anyway.
*Kallen leaves*
LELOUCH: .............YES! I can't believe that worked. In all seriousness though, giving girls the silent treatment is a terrible idea in real life. Take notes, loyal fans!
PERVERTED FANBOYS: Girls have feelings? WE'RE CONFUSED!
GENERIC NARRATOR: Oh, we know! That aside, the negotiations now commence!
KAGUYA: We fear your political power, so Britanna has to accept 20% representation or divide itself.
LELOUCH: Hmm, that's not very democratic.
OUGI: Yeah, I enjoy contradictions.
XING-KE: Quiet, you! Lelouch, we can't possibly trust you, after all! You're still ruling like a tyrant!
LELOUCH: I see. Well, let me ask you a question. What makes a great ruler?
KAGUYA: Pride and dignity, of course!
LELOUCH: A good answer. However, I think the answer is that OH MY GOD LOOK, IT'S AN INCOMING MASSIVE PLOT TWIST!
Kaguya: What?!?!
****CRASH****
SUZAKU: GUNPOINT DIPLOMACY, GO!
XING-KE: SURVEILLANCE DIVISION, what's wrong with you?!
STUPID UNDERLING: Sorry, sir! We generic soldiers are hopeless by default!
LELOUCH: Mwahahaha! Vote about Britannia's merabership like your lives depend on it! Because they do!
KAGUYA: That punchline is so terrible, I'm starting to cry!
RIVALZ: Whoo! Driving a motorcycle is badass, right? Right?
NINA: Sure, why not.
GEASSED MASSES: Braaaaaaaains. Braaaaaaaains!
RIVALZ: Holy crap! We're done for!
NINA: AAAAAAAAAAH!
LLOYD: Ah hahaha, just kidding! I told them to say that, I just wanted to have some fun with you guys.
NINA: Lloyd! It's good to know that thanks to you, I will never be the nuttiest person on this show.
LLOYD: Aw, shucks! Anyway, come on. It's time to kick off your redemption arc.
NINA: Awesome!
RIVALZ: ME TOO?
LLOYD: Nah, these guys need something to do.
GEASSED MASSES: GET HIM!
RIVALZ: WHYYYYYYYYY?! IT'S NOT FAIR!
LLOYD: Wow. That boy can drive.
SUZAKU: Big trouble, Lelouch! The capital's been nuked!
LELOUCH: Whoops. I guess that's goodbye to all of my neglected relatives.
SCHNEIZEL: Hello, Lelouch. Let me get this straight. You wanted to defeat me by uniting the world, therefore you deliberately antagonized your former allies instead of telling them about me and my plans?
LELOUCH: Yes! Peace will be won through this war of mine! Contradictions are necessary for results!
SCHNEIZEL: Foolish, Lelouch. I will show you who is really fit to rule the world: a blind and crippled young girl that I'm definitely not manipulating in any way!
NUNALLY: I will fight you, brother! I'm tired of lies, and I'm even more tired of Gundam plots!
LELOUCH: OH MY GOD, NUNALLY WAS ALIVE ALL ALONG!
SUZAKU: OH MY GOD, NUNALLY HATES GUNDAM!
GENERIC NARRATOR: For God's sake man, get some priorities!
THE END