Code Geass Episode 12 Parody
Because you can't ever jump the shark fast enough
GENERIC NARRATOR: And now we return to the next episode of Code Geass, already in progress!
SAYAKO: ...and that's what happened.
LELOUCH: No. Ooooooh, no. No, no, no. You're not doing this to me.
SAYAKO: What?
LELOUCH: Look, I just had two fantastic episodes. China's my ally, I got a new mech, I blew up lots of robots, I treated Tamaki like dirt again--why, just a few hours ago, C.C. was refuting my logic in her underwear! This plot is going someplace, and I refuse to let my neglected personal relationships get in the way!
SAYAKO: Wait. So you had time to be involved in a C.C. fanservice scene, but you don't have time to find a way to rescue Kallen or to fix the frienRABhip I needlessly complicated? That's awful!
Villetta: That's awful!
Rolo: That's awful!
AUDIENCE: That's awful!
PERVERTED FANBOYS: THAT'S FANTASTIC!
LELOUCH: SILENCE! This episode will have war and character development and political intrigue, and we're going to make this the anime of the decade! We have to commence my next brilliant strategy before it's too--
GENERIC NARRATOR: TODAY, ON CODE GEASS! THE ATTACK OF THE FANGIRL HORDE!
LELOUCH: .......................................I hate you all.
****THEME SONG****
Somewhere in China
OUGI: Bad news, everybody. They're keeping us out of this episode.
*The Black Knights groan*
XING-KE: Not me! I get a meaningless cameo!
OUGI: Well, woohoo for you.
TODOH: You know, I'm so great that I could've been in Gundam 00 instead, but--
OUGI: Hey, me too!
KAGUYA: And me!
TODOH: ...no. No, you really couldn't have been.
OUGI: *sigh*...yeah, we know.
Ashford Academy
SAYAKO: As you can see, I've set you up on dates with every available girl in the school that has a brain. Allegedly.
LELOUCH: My plans...my plans...my...brilliant...plans!
ROLO: My brother...going out with girls...leaving me alone!
VILLETTA: Are they sobbing? Oh lord, they're sobbing. Look, please don't do that in here.
SAYAKO: At 7 AM, you'll be eating a bento lunch.
LELOUCH: Lunch? For BREAKFAST? Blasphemy!
SAYAKO: At 9 AM, you have a date at the museum.
LELOUCH: I hate things that are older than I am!
SAYAKO: At 10:30, you'll be shopping at the mall. And you have to stay and give advice about everything she tries on, or she'll think you don't care.
LELOUCH: I don't care!
SAYAKO: That's terrible!
VILLETTA: That's terrible!
ROLO: That's terrible! Or...is it?
FEMALE FANS: THAT'S TERRIBLE!
MALE FANS: WE'RE BORED!
LELOUCH: It's torture. That's what this is. You're trying to torture me.
SAYAKO: At noon, you have a date at the Aquarium. You'll drive there with your giant robot. Women love a man with hardware.
LELOUCH: Strange girls and military secrets don't mix!
SAYAKO: Oh, fine...at 3 PM, you'll sign a trade agreement at Shanghai.
LELOUCH: Rebellion business! Now that's more like it--
SAYAKO: You only have 47 minutes to spend on your life's work until you're due back for another date.
LELOUCH: AUUUUUUUUGH!
Hours Later
LELOUCH: I'm late! I guess I'll move on to the next date with a complete stranger and make Shirley even more angry with me by standing her up. Yes, that's obviously the best possible course of action.
ANYA: LeLouch.
LELOUCH: Gah! The quiet Loli!
ANYA: Camera. Picture. You?
LELOUCH: That is definitely...not me right now. If it were me, I wouldn't know me, and I'd ask who I was, and he'd tell myself "why, I don't know!" And then I'd ask myself, which would be him, what I do know, but that would be nothing, because I wouldn't know who I am.
ANYA: ................................................................................
LELOUCH: ............it isn't me.
FANGIRLS: LELOUCH! WE LOVE YOU!
LELOUCH: Fangirls! They're...everywhere!
FANGIRLS: Come on, we'll watch reruns of Inu-Yasha together! That show has such a great couple!
LELOUCH: No...NO!
FANGIRLS: We'll see the whole thing, from beginning to end, without interruption!
LELOUCH: DEAR LORD, NO! I must run away!
SHIRLEY: I AM A WOMAN SCORNED, AND OUTRAGED!
LELOUCH: ...oops. Uh, peace offering!
SHIRLEY: REJECTED!
LELOUCH: Dammit!
SHIRLEY: How dare you kiss me out of the blue even though I secretly love you but you don
Because you can't ever jump the shark fast enough
GENERIC NARRATOR: And now we return to the next episode of Code Geass, already in progress!
SAYAKO: ...and that's what happened.
LELOUCH: No. Ooooooh, no. No, no, no. You're not doing this to me.
SAYAKO: What?
LELOUCH: Look, I just had two fantastic episodes. China's my ally, I got a new mech, I blew up lots of robots, I treated Tamaki like dirt again--why, just a few hours ago, C.C. was refuting my logic in her underwear! This plot is going someplace, and I refuse to let my neglected personal relationships get in the way!
SAYAKO: Wait. So you had time to be involved in a C.C. fanservice scene, but you don't have time to find a way to rescue Kallen or to fix the frienRABhip I needlessly complicated? That's awful!
Villetta: That's awful!
Rolo: That's awful!
AUDIENCE: That's awful!
PERVERTED FANBOYS: THAT'S FANTASTIC!
LELOUCH: SILENCE! This episode will have war and character development and political intrigue, and we're going to make this the anime of the decade! We have to commence my next brilliant strategy before it's too--
GENERIC NARRATOR: TODAY, ON CODE GEASS! THE ATTACK OF THE FANGIRL HORDE!
LELOUCH: .......................................I hate you all.
****THEME SONG****
Somewhere in China
OUGI: Bad news, everybody. They're keeping us out of this episode.
*The Black Knights groan*
XING-KE: Not me! I get a meaningless cameo!
OUGI: Well, woohoo for you.
TODOH: You know, I'm so great that I could've been in Gundam 00 instead, but--
OUGI: Hey, me too!
KAGUYA: And me!
TODOH: ...no. No, you really couldn't have been.
OUGI: *sigh*...yeah, we know.
Ashford Academy
SAYAKO: As you can see, I've set you up on dates with every available girl in the school that has a brain. Allegedly.
LELOUCH: My plans...my plans...my...brilliant...plans!
ROLO: My brother...going out with girls...leaving me alone!
VILLETTA: Are they sobbing? Oh lord, they're sobbing. Look, please don't do that in here.
SAYAKO: At 7 AM, you'll be eating a bento lunch.
LELOUCH: Lunch? For BREAKFAST? Blasphemy!
SAYAKO: At 9 AM, you have a date at the museum.
LELOUCH: I hate things that are older than I am!
SAYAKO: At 10:30, you'll be shopping at the mall. And you have to stay and give advice about everything she tries on, or she'll think you don't care.
LELOUCH: I don't care!
SAYAKO: That's terrible!
VILLETTA: That's terrible!
ROLO: That's terrible! Or...is it?
FEMALE FANS: THAT'S TERRIBLE!
MALE FANS: WE'RE BORED!
LELOUCH: It's torture. That's what this is. You're trying to torture me.
SAYAKO: At noon, you have a date at the Aquarium. You'll drive there with your giant robot. Women love a man with hardware.
LELOUCH: Strange girls and military secrets don't mix!
SAYAKO: Oh, fine...at 3 PM, you'll sign a trade agreement at Shanghai.
LELOUCH: Rebellion business! Now that's more like it--
SAYAKO: You only have 47 minutes to spend on your life's work until you're due back for another date.
LELOUCH: AUUUUUUUUGH!
Hours Later
LELOUCH: I'm late! I guess I'll move on to the next date with a complete stranger and make Shirley even more angry with me by standing her up. Yes, that's obviously the best possible course of action.
ANYA: LeLouch.
LELOUCH: Gah! The quiet Loli!
ANYA: Camera. Picture. You?
LELOUCH: That is definitely...not me right now. If it were me, I wouldn't know me, and I'd ask who I was, and he'd tell myself "why, I don't know!" And then I'd ask myself, which would be him, what I do know, but that would be nothing, because I wouldn't know who I am.
ANYA: ................................................................................
LELOUCH: ............it isn't me.
FANGIRLS: LELOUCH! WE LOVE YOU!
LELOUCH: Fangirls! They're...everywhere!
FANGIRLS: Come on, we'll watch reruns of Inu-Yasha together! That show has such a great couple!
LELOUCH: No...NO!
FANGIRLS: We'll see the whole thing, from beginning to end, without interruption!
LELOUCH: DEAR LORD, NO! I must run away!
SHIRLEY: I AM A WOMAN SCORNED, AND OUTRAGED!
LELOUCH: ...oops. Uh, peace offering!
SHIRLEY: REJECTED!
LELOUCH: Dammit!
SHIRLEY: How dare you kiss me out of the blue even though I secretly love you but you don