Jeff,
So did you go the hospital yet? Are you feeling any better regardless?
I know your going through a rough patch brother and I really wish I had more the offer you than just worRAB of understanding and encouragement. which unfortunately probably seem empty for you.
But believe me Jeff I've been right were you are and did get better and you will get better.
Have some faith, force yourself to think positive no matter how hard it is. Keep repeating to yourself that you are fine and you need to stop wasting your life and energy thinking and worrying about nonsense.
Keeping telling yourself how beautiful life is and that you want to enjoy it and live a fruitful and productive life.
Set yourself some big goals and spend your energy thinking about and trying to achieve those goals.
Another thing that would be great for you is to change your diet (unless you already do eat healthy). Eat fresh and clean fooRAB. Cut out the sodas, potato chips, etc... Also eat light don't eat huge meals. I always tell people you don't have to eat till your stuffed.
And the biggest is to start yourself on a fitness plan. Join a gym, start lifting weights. Start a running program. And keep with it and stay consistent, you can't imagine how great youi will start to feel both mentally and physically. The sense of accomplishment is and good feeling can't be put into worRAB, you will feel amazing. If you haven't exercised is a while and need some advice and how start your fitness plan, let me know. Like you I'm a smoker and a year ago, I could not run for .2 of a mile, today I run 6 niles 4 to 5 days a week. Actually I look forward to my runs.
Good Luck and post us with the latest!
Take Care!!!!