Really messed up inappropriate jokes?

C

Chris

New member
worst (or best)one uve heard?
haha thats NOTHING you guys read this:

so a 14 year old daughter goes up to her father and says 'can i go the the movies' and the dad replies 'i dont know, we are really short for cash'
so the daughter begs him and he says 'alright but you must first su!ck m!y dick'
so the daughter is sucking his dick and she says ' ugh dad why does your penis taste so bad?!'
and the dad replies 'well your brother asked if he could borrow the car this morning'
 
pickup lines:

"nice shoes, wanna f*ck?"

"do you have any italian in you/no/ would you like to?"

"sit on my face and i'll guess your weight."

"Let's play war, I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me!"

"It's not going to suck itself."

"I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button."

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f#ck. "

"I'm a lawyer."
 
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."


Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
 
if u put "thats what she said" after everything it makes it a whole lot funnier haha

ex.
dude!! that thing is huge!!
thats what she said!!
hahaha! i still think its funny :P
 
I agree with the dead baby joke ones.
Like whats worst then 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?
One dead baby stapled to 10 trees.
 
okay just keep in mind i am NOT racist ok.
what do fat white chicks and roofing shingles have in common?
they both have a 90% chance of being nailed by a mexican!
 
I don't agree with these, so don't judge me::

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza?
a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

How do you fit 10 jews in a car?
two in the front, three in the back and the rest in the ash tray.

These would have to be the worst ones i have heard so far.
 
There were three guy friends who were on vacation with each other. They went to get a hotel room and found out that there is only one room available. So the take it and much to there surprise when they got to the room there was only one bed. So now they have to share a bed.

The next morning, they all woke up and the first guy on the end said, " I had a dream last night that I got the greatest hand job I had ever gotten in my life", and the guy on the other end said, " That's funny because I had the same dream". The guy in the middle pipes up and says, " My dream was way different. I had a dream where I was cross country skiing.
 
what the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini

i dont have a Lamborghini in my garage
 
michael jackson is so plastic toy company's will make 98% of lego's from him so he can play with the kids!
 
what did Hitler get for his tenth birthday

A GI Jew and a easy bake oven


or


there was once a guy whose penis couldn't have sex because he had problems so his doctor gave him some pills so the next night his wife gave him one pill and there sex was descent the next day his wife gave him 2 pills and there sex was better so the next day his wife gave him 8 pills and the sex was wonderful so the next she gave him the whole bottle the next day there son came to the doctors office and he told him "what the hell did u give my father my moms dead my sisters pregnant my butt hurts and my dad keeps running around chasing cat saying here kitty kitty kitty kitty
 
Well, this is more of a saying than a joke, but when my brother-in-law sees or hears something that's messed up, he says "That's as wrong as two boys fu ck ing." That's inappropriate....
 
o_O! ?! Your insane! I am speechless! That is Distgusing! The worst joke ever! Honestley really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get help because I do not know what is going on in your head!
 
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