...seriously?? Im always online im bored with life and i'm just pissed all the time. I don't wanna live like this. I can't live like this. Im completely miserable i wish my so called friends would want to hang out but they never do. And by the time they eventually do want to hang out im busy or im pissed that it took them that long to contact me. I mean it isn't impossible facebook, text, they know where i live. But then again they aren't like real friends. Sure friends make fun of each other but these ones just keep spitting out the low blows. I know im self consious and the factc that they point it out and don't try to help me just proves how great you really are. Its always listen to your problems and whenever i speak about mine it's one word answers like "yeah." Thats it . I feel like i've done so much. Now im completely wasting away my life i mean how can other people have such great friends and i get jipted majorly.like the amount of humiliation when they ask me things..yes its humilating friends aren't supposed to make you feel like shit. Its not only once in awhile its every single time. Or every other time. One on one they are all different but when together its completely horrible. Like i want to get out my sisters gone im stuck in this house with two senior citizens. My parents make me go crazy. They are loud and annoying its only tolerable somedays. But i need to be my own eventually i just can't deal with them all the time. It doesn't really help that even they say how my friends are shitty and that i basically have no good friends. My dad is super critical and annoying. He calls me crazy, dumb,spoiled, and psychotic... whatever the hell you wanna call it if i get below 75% on something. He then likes to tell me how i have no friends..but he's right. He is suspious 24/7..he wasn't like this at all before. When he had a job he was tolerable.. i'd like to think its because he doesn't have a job but i don't know. . But right now i don't know i can't be under the same roof as him.Every summer he makes me study for the next year..maybe that s why my marks are so low. I feel overwhelmed and pressured everytime i do something, i eventually fail. He thinks he know but he does not, i need silence to work. I need quiet time, and even a good friend to help me study. I don't know what to do. This all started in grade 7. Before that i was a pretty smart kid i did somewhat okay, but a bit over average. Then in 7th grade it all wen't dow...my skin was bad i was teased and it eventually never ended. Grade 7 was by far the worst..and i went through another round of that in grade 11 by the same people. I don't even know what i did to deserve it. My best friends starting hating me a bunch of girls made fun of me because of the way i looked. Im terrified of meeting new people. I have really low self esteem thanks to my surrondings for the past 6 years. Now im going to college. We'll see what happens there.Right now i am completely miserable.
OH i've totally changed my looks and all but is till get treated like crap.
Like im positive this is the best i can look right now..
Thanks for the advice =)
OH i've totally changed my looks and all but is till get treated like crap.
Like im positive this is the best i can look right now..
Thanks for the advice =)