Really Hurt

V

Vincent S

New member
I got elected to be the secretary for RHA next year. (Residence Hall Association) Tonight there was a banquet for it. I went, but ended up leaving early. I guess there was a part where the RHA executive board for next year stood up and said an oath or something and that they were laughing thier asses off the whole time. I also found out that I won a $500 scholarship.

So I check my e-mail tonight and this is what I got from next year's RHA president:

I am writing to express the concerns of RHA at the banquet. We all saw you there while we were eating. Shortly after cake was served you went missing. Your name was called on twice and you were a no show. To everyone there, it looked like you came for free food. I am writing to ask you to not do this again. This was an important banquet for RHA and I would like to prevent that from happening again. Please do not take this e-mail the wrong way, I am simply stating what happened. I hope you did enjoy what you did see.

I wrote her an e-mail back saying that I did take offense because after working with me for a year in RHA she should know that I'm not that type of person and that she should have asked me why I left instead of accusing me of being something that I'm not. Then I was really pissed, so I went up to her room to talk to her. Here's how it went:

"You know I'm not the type of person who would just show up for free food and I think that instead of accusing me you should have asked me why I left early. Just so you know, I've been dealing with being really sick for the last month and a half and I didn't think that leaving during a break would be bad. I can see how you might think that I just came for free food, but you should know I'm not that type of person."

"But I don't know you. I'm sorry you feel hurt, but you discraced RHA by leaving early. We're done talking about this."

Then she shut the door in my face. I have to work with her all next year. I went back to my room and cried, then I talked to my CA about it and I cried more. Then I called my mom and I bawled for like another hour. I went and saw my bf and the water works started again. I don't see how my leaving early was such a big deal. I'm not the only person who left early AND I think that them laughing through the oath part of the banquet was more a disgrace to RHA.

This banquet wasn't just for RHA either. There were CA's, administration, LCC's, Mentors, NRHH members and RHA members there. Attendance also wasn't mandetory. Even IF I was just there for food, I don't see the big deal. I don't think she had any right to e-mail me and reem me out for it. I'm just really hurt by all this. I don't even want to work with her next year. I'm about ready to just quit right now.
 
Wow, that girl is a real hardass. That is utterly ridiculous that she didn't even listen to your explaination and then shut the door in your face when she was the one disgracing RHA by behaving that way. I'm sorry this happened, Mags. :hug2: You didn't deserve that kind of treatment.
 
FUCK that shit. Seriously, Mags. I would quit in a HEARTBEAT over something so inane as that. And in all honesty, not to burst your bubble or anything, in another 5 years, no one is going to give two shits and a fuck that you were on RHA. It's not like some BIG UBER THING that is going to help your career or anything, okay??!

Seriously....if it were me (which it's not, but I'm just saying) I would quit and be sure I left a good healthy explanation of why I thought THEIR behavior was disgraceful and how humiliating it would be to you and your good character to work with a lot like that. I would make sure anyone on campus who was the LEAST bit important KNEW why you quit too.

Fucking bitch ass cunt....she's fucking lucky I wasn't standing there with you, I'd have decked that fat bitch's ass. It would have been a PLEASURE to have an assault charge just to SEE that whore's face!

NOBODY MESSES WITH MY WTF SISTA!! :mfinger: her!
 
That totally sucks. Some girls are just bitches like that. She's probably jealous of you for one reason or another. I don't think I would take it too seriously. But nonetheless I can see how that would hurt. I'm sorry, cheerup :loons2:
 
oh mags! i'm so sorry sweety! that lady/girl/whatever is going to have to get over the fact that you left. you have been sick, you had to go. eventually that girl is going to realize how much of a moron she is. feel better babe! :hug2:
 
Is she your superior or something? If shes just a co-worker like I think (I don't know)
You still have that insulting email ;) Well don't delete it if you do. I suggest that you print that crap out with her name on it.
Relate the encounter with that well...I tend to curse alot so I will keep it to myself.
Any case relate the encounter to one of the people in charge who could >.> perchance fire her ass?
Or at least give a severe talking to. Talk to your boss, say what happened, and that you can't work in an enviroment like that. I'm damn sure you will get a favorable response.:)
 
I'm going to sound jaded, I know it. You're going to run into a thousand (possibly more) people like that in your lifetime, and even worse you're going to have to work with them. I think it'll be good for you.

I'm sorry you've felt so badly about the whole thing, but I'm sure you'll be just fine! She's a total bitch, and soon you'll run across another person that has dealt with her crap and you two can laugh about it.

My advice? Do not quit!!!

The best way to deal with people that are after you for one reason or another is to outlast them! A person who feels the need to make other people miserable WILL reap what they sow and become so hated they'll be run off. I bet if she keeps it up you'll only have to deal with her for a year! Don't let this tampon muncher screw up your school experience.

Chin up and kick ass!.

Oh yeah, and slip something in her drink at the next gathering.. then you can bury her alive after allowing a dozen men from the old folks home molest her unconcious form and suffocate her with strawberry jelly.*

Is that going too far? nahhh...

* thebigfuzz does not condone poisoning, kidnapping or murder as a solution to your problems; only his own.

 
Mags, I wouldn't quit either, especially if this is something I really wanted. Do your thing and do it the best you can. Let her be the one to "deal with" you. The best thing you can do is keep on being you and get the job done. Trust me it will eat her up inside and eventually she'll either apologize after realizing what a bitch she was or she'll eventually just snap and everyone will see how crazy she really is.

Like the above poster said, this is going to be life. There is ALWAYS someone out there for some unknown reason who exalts themself over others and has to constantly put down others to keep themselves on their high horse. It's not fair, but it's life.

At any rate, don't let anyone keep you from what you want in life, and remember this, when things get that bad, everyone has a boss to answer to. The buck doesn't always stop at them. ;) :hug2:
 
I wrote a letter to our supervisor. I didn't mention any names, but I had to let her know what was going on. I think she forwarded the message because I got e-mails from other people on the staff. But here is the one I got from the president this morning.


I just want you to know that I am sorry that I hurt your feelings. I honestly did not mean to. This issue has been brought too far. I apologized last night and now I am again. I don't want this to start off the year. Last night was a bad time to talk to me about it. I was having like 5 other conversations at the same time online. I would like this to be the end and stop all feelings. We will be spending a lot of time together in the future and neither of us need this drama. Feelings will be hurt on both sides and we can't let it get to this level. There are so many other important things we both need to be worrying about; not this. I hope you have a good afternoon! I will talk to you later.

Again, just covering her ass. :rolleyes:
 
This girl isn't my boss. She is the president and I am the secretary. It is an organization and we all have to answer to a higher authority. I may have to work with her, but the floor reps are the people who vote and have the say.

And there is one very good reason that I won't quit. Well, more than one, but still. I get a single room for the price of a regular room (a savings of $2,000 for the year) and I get a stipend of $475 at the end of each semester. Also, wehn I called my mom in tears last night she said to stick it out for a little bit and if things didn't get better that I should quit.
 
I agree with Honey, TheBigFuzz and your mom. Hang in there. Not only is the position good for you financially, but extra-curricular activities like the RHA look really good on your record/resume.

The best thing right now would be to act like everything has been settled, let the Pres person think you believed her apology, keep smiling so no one (except your friends and family) knows you're upset, and be the best secretary that school has ever seen.

They're lucky to have you.
 
Well, I think other people have given you VERY good advice on this.

I'm still of the opinion, that if it was ME (which it is NOT), I would tell her to shove her RHA up her ass, but then....the fact of the matter is.....I'm twice your age, could not care LESS about adding some fluff to my resume, and am REALLY quick to let everyone know that I don't NEED their financial support if they think it buys them the right to abuse me.

Like I said...my reaction at this age, is not probably what yours should or would be at your age. I think I contracted a major "fuck you mentality" after my second divorce!! :D I make sure that people in the real world are very aware that I'm not going to be fucked with, nor be dependent on them. I think that directly stems from me having BEEN, in the past, pretty much a door mat for people. Now, I'm the opposite extreme and I'm pretty quick to tell someone to fuck off.

The pendulum swings both ways before finding the middle....

Translation: I'm still growing and changing, which means....I'm still living.
 
I used to be a doormat for people in high school. Last year I did PSEO (Post Secondary Education Options. I basically got to go to college for free for a year.) and decided that I wasn't going to let people fuck with me anymore. When I did that, people told me that I changed and I lost a lot of friends because many of the friends I had were there just because they knew they could use me. I try not to let people take advantage of me anymore, but sometimes they just get under my skin.

Thanks for all the advice and love. It really helped. :)
 
look all of these people who have commented to this i have read alot of your comments and shit and always thaught you had really good views and crap kinda looked up to you all and i respect you but come on taking this shit abit seriously aren't you i mean it's not a big deal just some bitch who said something about something not even that important not like it's gonna really make or break a career in future.
 
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