Re-Post: How should i deal with this? Future father-in-law made it CLEAR that...?

B

BeeElle

New member
BACKGROUND INFO: i've had a few issues with my bf's brothers fiance. when i say issues, i mean its hard for me to be-friend her because i cant relate to her on any level. she has done a few things that have bothered me, but i've only told my bf about them, just to clear things as to why i cant be as close to her as he'd like. no arguments or fights have happened between me and her.
just btw me and my bf since her behavior tends to irritate me, and we are always out with them, so i tried to make things clear behind closed doors that i'd wish to hang out with other couples every once in a while, because its getting old and boring being around her.

NOW: i was invited to dinner by my bfs parents ( inculding his sister and his brother). while making conversation, i asked my future father in law: ( after a related question directed to his daughter's fiance), what do u expect from your future daughter's in law?
he said: i want to see signs of both my future daughters in law being close. if one of you chooses not to make trouble cause the other is behaving in an inappropriate way, then i expect that person to shrug it off. i will not allow anyone to come between my sons and ruin the family tie.

i feel offended and betrayed. its impossible that his parents sensed the disconnection between me and the girl, they barely see me.
i asked my bf if he said anything, he said to grow up, its a normal conversation.
sounds like the blame is on me.....
btw: he did not make any eye contact with me, i asked the question, he looked at my bf's brothers fiance while answering.
thanku for previous answers, now i need to know what should i do?
 
Sounds like this family is full of control freaks and big babies (what grown man lets his daddy dictate what his future spouse will and will not do?).

If being BFF with this woman is a dealbreaker, I'd break it off first, because you know that's simply never going to happen.

My husband knows there are members of his family to whom I will be polite, and that's it. I won't hang out with them or continually subject myself to their disapproval, but I will be courteous when I'm supposed to be around them and that's it. He is OK with that because he recognises that they've got problems.

If your BF won't acknowledge your discomfort, or if he won't stand up to his brother's girlfriend or his father for you now, he never will.
 
Go on about your life. She's your bf's brother's fiance. She's nothing to you and your future father in law can run his lips until his face turns blue, it's not up to him who you do and dont' get along with.

Be pleasant. Be civil. Dont' show any anger or frustration toward her in front of your future in laws. You don't have to be around her much so I think you should be able to pull that off.

It will all work out.
 
Back
Top