Rant about marriage and kids and no one taking responsibility?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Sue y
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Sue y

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I'm furious. Feel free to comment/chime in, but if u want to tell me I'm a nasty nagger, keep it. I'm not. I'm frustrated and fed up. In an hour I'll have a plan, but for now..

My teens borrowed my watch then left it outside. Now it does not work. In the past 3 months they have lost/destroyed 1 ipod, 2 cell phones, 1 pair $80 ballet shoes and 2 pair $30 ballet shoes, my watch, my best makeup, my hairspray, my best brush. I charge them for the items. They don't seem to care. (they have to have phones and ballet shoes)

My teen daughter smells like poop today. I mean, the kids smells like poop. I tried to say nicely that she needed to get cleaned up and she told me I'm a horrible mother and denied there was a problem. My whole house smells.

My other kid was excluded from trying out for softball-she didn't give me the paperwork in time to schedule the physical. She is sobbing b/c trying out was her dream - except she didn't practice a whole lot and no paperwork. nGrrrrr
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT AT THE BEGINNING, THIS IS JUST A RANT.

MY KIDS ARE FINE. I'M NOT A HORRIBLE, IRRESPONSIBLE PARENT. I JUST HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.
 
Your kids seem to have an issue with personal responsibility. Assuming that you have already tried to instill this in them, I think it's time you put your foot down. If they break or lose their personal belongings, they should have to go without until they can work off the cost of a replacement. If it belongs to you and they have lost or damaged it, they should have to replace it, plus lose a privilege (grounding, loss of TV or Internet time) until it is replaced. Apparently charging them is not enough. They have to have something else they value taken away from them to make a point.

As far as cleanliness, you should talk to their school and have a guidance councilor talk to them. Embarrassment by somebody other than mom, might cause them to change.

With the softball player, it serves her right to not be allowed to play. She didn't do what was needed to be eligible.

Your kids need to be taught that failure to take responsibility for their own actions has consequences.
 
Raising teens is hard! First take a deep breath...maybe take some time for yourself, try to find some balance. Then I would stop replacing the items when they break. If your child ruins ballet slippers then I guess the lessons are over. Yep in the beginning of this tough love journey they will make your life hell, but in the end they will learn from it. Remember you are in charge and they will not die if they pay for their bad behavior. No note for softball means no softball playing. It will only take a couple of losses like this for them to learn. Yeah they might wail and scream, just walk away and remember you are helping them to become better people.

Bless you!
 
When I was a kid and misbehaved my mother threatened to sell me to the gypsies. Sometimes, it worked.
 
Well keep making them pay for the ballet shoes and phones, eventually they will learn to be responsible for their stuff. If something comes up where they need it... don't replace it. Make THEM figure out a way to replace it. It just sounds like they are irresponsible, and they know you will help them out when they need it. I guess if your daughter wants to smell like poop... then let her smell like poop, she doesnt seem to care about that either.

Just TRY to keep your patience... easier said than done though.
 
oh well, as far as the softball. it's her own fault. so let her sulk. sorry they stink, i can't imagine what that is about. hope you get it figured out. yuck. sorry about the ruining of things too. it sounds like you're doing a good thing by making them pay for what they have ruined. i wouldn't buy them anymore ipods. i also wouldn't let them use my personal care items. put a lock on your door so they can't get into your stuff. that's what i would do.
 
My teens borrowed my watch then left it outside. Now it does not work. In the past 3 months they have lost/destroyed 1 ipod, 2 cell phones, 1 pair $80 ballet shoes and 2 pair $30 ballet shoes, my watch, my best makeup, my hairspray, my best brush. I charge them for the items. They don't seem to care. (they have to have phones and ballet shoes):
They don't NEED to have anything they don't have respect for. Stop being their friend and start being the authority figure. Set warnings, and let them know that the next time they lose something, it's lost forever. And if they ever feel so inclined to get a job to pay for their own stuff, you're all for it.

My teen daughter smells like poop today. I mean, the kids smells like poop. I tried to say nicely that she needed to get cleaned up and she told me I'm a horrible mother and denied there was a problem. My whole house smells:
Ground her. Tell her something like, "If you don't care what you smell like around ME, fine. But it's not fair to put the general public through your lack of hygiene."

My other kid was excluded from trying out for softball-she didn't give me the paperwork in time to schedule the physical. She is sobbing b/c trying out was her dream - except she didn't practice a whole lot and no paperwork. nGrrrrr:
Well, this just sounds like a lesson learned by your kid. They have to learn about responsibility and consequences somehow.
 
sounds like someone needs an ass whoopin you're the parent start acting like it.
 
Well, your kids didn't become irresponsible overnight. They were blank slates when you got em. So if you don't like the way you have raised them, change your parenting.
 
well i got my kid a phone she lost it i didn replace it ! ,
she ripped her shoes on the pavement cos she didn like em so she wore shoes with a rip on them and her feet got wet ,

if my kid stank id physically bath her ! no choices with a hose and broom if i had to !

she needed eggs for easter parade at school she didn tell me till night before so she went with no egg !

get harsh straighten em out there kids they dont need ballet shoes they lost em go bare foot lol your to damn soft and they know it trust me wen shes the only one without something shel look after things
 
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