If you need this surgery, you'll be glad you did it, no matter how hard the recovery is. Many, many people have fusion surgery and get their lives back. Most of them aren't hanging around here on the board. Why would they? They can get out and do things that those of us with continued problems can't. So please keep in mind as you read posts here that we are NOT a representative group. Most of us here have problems that don't require surgery or are either still contemplating surgery or have had more problems since surgery. It bears repeating that most people who have this surgery do just fine with it!
That said, though, it is a big surgery with a long recovery time. MM might be a better one to listen to regarding recovery pain, as my recovery was quite painful and difficult. Looking back now, I have to say I got through it by lots of people praying for me and keeping my thoughts as positive as I could. It was harder than I expected, and it was my second fusion. I knew what I was getting into. I had read here on the board and talked to lots of people here who had already had the surgery, so I was prepared. But I did have a lot of levels fused, 8 this time around for a total of 14. That does make a huge difference. I was mostly in bed for 2 months, in bed more than out of it for the third month, and needed to lay down for several hours a day for several months more after that. I was on Percocet for about 2 months, then switched to Vicodin. I think I scared MM before her surgery, but wasn't it nice for it to be easier than you thought?

Sorry about that, MM!
If you read the thread at the top called "Post Surgery Tips," it has lots of great suggestions that will make your recovery easier. Best two tips: get a grabber tool. It will be your best friend! And get a satiny type bottom sheet for your bed. It will let you slide to turn instead of fighting friction, so you'll have less pain. I got slippery pj's, too, but some people here have found that to be overkill. But it worked for me.
I would get at least two opinions from surgeons before you make your decision. Make sure you go to two surgeons who practice in different groups. Surgeons in the same group share notes. When you go to the second one, it's fine if he knows you're there for a second opinion -- doctors are used to that and understand it -- but don't tell him what the first doctor said. Let him come to his own conclusion without pressure to agree with a colleague. Try to find surgeons who specialize in the spine and who have done a fellowship.
Let us know what you decide. If you have other questions, we'll do our best to help. We're not doctors, but we've been there and done that.
And I'll try not to scare you.
Take care,
Emily