I don’t know where else to ask this, the family section isn’t really giving me any answers, so I hope that you girls can help since it is in regards to the family I am marrying into.
FH comes from a blended family, and due to his StepFather being 15 years older than his mother, all of his siblings are at least 15 years older than he is (Give or take). He has 4 step siblings, we are only close to one.
The youngest of the steps is around 42ish and has a 13 year old and an 8 year old (Girl and boy respectively) with his wife. These two kids are great, smart, and full of potential kids. The parents are doing everything to give their kids better than they have done for themselves but there is a catch. The wife had two children (20 and 18) from a prior marriage that during their formative years were given a less than desirable upbringing. The 20 year old is married, has a kid, lives off of welfare and views that as a reason to not work, and the 18 year old was kicked out of the army and breaks and steals his younger siblings things. I don’t think they should dislike their siblings, but I don’t think they should be their role models either.
We care for these kids, and they love us! We really want to be a bigger part of their lives since they are kind of our Niece and Nephew. Right now however we are 7 to 8 hours away and only see them once a month or so. We may be moving much closer in 6 months but until then we want to be more involved. We know their parents would be fine with it as we have a good relationship with them and visit with them whenever possible. How can we let the kids know that we are there for them even though we are far away? We don’t view them as “Steps”, to us they are just as close to us as my FH’s biological sister, and they view us the same way.
I should add I have been present in these kids lives since they were 8 and 3.
To Blunt:
This has nothing to do with intruding, but I can see how it may seem that way. And I am sorry to have come off that way.
We get along well with these two kids. My future step sister in law (Their Mother) have asked us if we would be willing to be more involved in their lives because they the kids have expressed interest in us playing a bigger “Aunt and Uncle” role. And the mother says they look up to us and want to see more of us.
The things that were said about her adult children came right out of her mouth. Nothing we said on our own and certainly not to family.
We were surprised, but are more than willing to play a bigger role but we aren’t sure where to start.
FH comes from a blended family, and due to his StepFather being 15 years older than his mother, all of his siblings are at least 15 years older than he is (Give or take). He has 4 step siblings, we are only close to one.
The youngest of the steps is around 42ish and has a 13 year old and an 8 year old (Girl and boy respectively) with his wife. These two kids are great, smart, and full of potential kids. The parents are doing everything to give their kids better than they have done for themselves but there is a catch. The wife had two children (20 and 18) from a prior marriage that during their formative years were given a less than desirable upbringing. The 20 year old is married, has a kid, lives off of welfare and views that as a reason to not work, and the 18 year old was kicked out of the army and breaks and steals his younger siblings things. I don’t think they should dislike their siblings, but I don’t think they should be their role models either.
We care for these kids, and they love us! We really want to be a bigger part of their lives since they are kind of our Niece and Nephew. Right now however we are 7 to 8 hours away and only see them once a month or so. We may be moving much closer in 6 months but until then we want to be more involved. We know their parents would be fine with it as we have a good relationship with them and visit with them whenever possible. How can we let the kids know that we are there for them even though we are far away? We don’t view them as “Steps”, to us they are just as close to us as my FH’s biological sister, and they view us the same way.
I should add I have been present in these kids lives since they were 8 and 3.
To Blunt:
This has nothing to do with intruding, but I can see how it may seem that way. And I am sorry to have come off that way.
We get along well with these two kids. My future step sister in law (Their Mother) have asked us if we would be willing to be more involved in their lives because they the kids have expressed interest in us playing a bigger “Aunt and Uncle” role. And the mother says they look up to us and want to see more of us.
The things that were said about her adult children came right out of her mouth. Nothing we said on our own and certainly not to family.
We were surprised, but are more than willing to play a bigger role but we aren’t sure where to start.