question about bf and bike night?

[UwishUknew]

Been with bf for almost three years.... its been bumpy but we also have our ups...so anywho he just recently bought a bike and has been going out everyweek to biky night with his friends.....there is many many girls there and many guys take their girlfriends...he says he'd take me but since he's just learning he doesnt want to risk it but i mean whats the big deal about that?? isnt it just a place to go hook up?? they hardly even ride,....just hang around in a parking lot....it bothers me that he goes...he used to go cruising sunday nights until i found out he got a girls number there and i told him either he never ever went again or it was over and he hasnt gone but now its bike night?? should i relax and just let him be or put my foot down?? another thing is we were supposed to go on vacation this coming week but now that he got his bike he has more expenses....so im a**ed out now....he doesnt make sacrifices for me.....

 

[jhb883]

You're right he isn't making sacrifices for you. You already know he is getting girls numbers so you have a good idea of where his head is at in this relationship. I used to work at a restaurant/bar and for bike night they would all ride in hang out drink and eat, if you are so eager to join in and he is too afraid to ride with you, why don't you suggest you meet him there? You can't give him ultimatums and rules, there more you do the more smothered he will feel until he ultimately rebels. Seems to me like you should find someone who is more into you.

 

[Debi]

I'm a biker's girlfriend, too, so I feel your pain. A lot of girls are attracted to men simply because of the bike. Plus, the whole "urban biker" thing is like a cult, I swear. Guys get so into it, and I think it's because they like the fantasy of being a 1 per-center.

But when push comes to shove, if you've got a grounded, secure relationship, the girls ogling your man over the bike and all the biker activities he goes to really shouldn't be a big deal. Everyone needs their own hobby and their own time away from each other.

BTW, he's right about not wanting to take you on the bike until he's a more experienced rider. One wiggle on your part could dump you both unless he's a darned good biker.