POLL: Tell me your best joke?

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats, right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents..."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

I'm like.. Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!"
 
A cop sees a guy in a car full of penguins speeding down the highway. He pulls the driver over and asks,
"What are you doing speeding down the highway with this car full of penguins?"
The driver replies, "I'm taking them to the zoo."
The cop says okay and decides to let the guy go.

The next day, the cop sees the driver with the penguins speeding down the highway again. When he pulls the guy over, he says
"I thought you were taking them to zoo."
and the driver replies, "I did, now I'm taking them to the arcade."
 
This guy is religious and he goes to buy some fish
So there's a guy with a small table and cooler selling fish and yelling "Buy the da@M fish "buy the da@m fish"!
So the religious guy walks up, buys some fish and asks him why he is calling them"Da@m" fish and hes says that's what they r called
So the religious guy goes home and starts having dinner
And he says can someone pass me the Da@=m fish and his wife says religious people don't talk like that and then his son says " That's the spirit dad past the fu@@ing patatoes!!
 
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