Poetry- What do u think?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Angel A
  • Start date Start date
A

Angel A

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Night surrounds my dark thoughts as I lie in my bed
Fear shivers my body as minutes pass away
Maths takes over calculating calories intake
Mind spinns incredibly seeking the starvation hole in the prison bars Hoping to wake up the joyous “Skeleton World”
Pressure grows incredibly as the dawn wakes
Heart beats accelerate
Breath becomes heavy
Fear tastes, suffocate me slowly
Morning is coming and it will soon be night.
Fear will turn in terror
Unless I come up with a plan.
 
me, my , and other such words just ruin the poem, and it just seems your describing your feelings, doesnt have a clear sense of being poetry.
 
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