Poetry section is very apathetic, help me figure out the kinks of this poem i wrote?

Howard Roark

New member
Flashing lights so bright
We shot thru the night
Running, soft and swift
The journey into light
Was one without sight
Careless eyelids are forgot
In this twilight we were brought

Hold me until the clouds stop bleeding
surrender our ego's into pools of great disillusion
my true love waits calling
opening my broken eyes
the fire lights her silhouette
and she walks thru the night
her blue eyes saw me naked
clinching onto her stature of a home
wandering broken eyes with a love to roam
seeing forests and poverty remedying his escaped craze

only this love is worthy of the heavens
this is what finds eternal glory, not your proper regret
spread wings and never die thru loves roulette
Thanks yang, exactly what i was looking for!
 
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