pleases tell me about my writing..... how is it are theres poems ok?

unknow

New member
~a poem with out words~



Have you ever seen a poem with out words
How about the darkness of the day or the light of the night
Have you ever Sean a rambling river in drought
How about a happy person in dought
Have you ever seen black moonlight or stars during the day
Or how about and ocean that does not sway
Have you ever sat in church on Sunday and did not pray
Have you ever took a day to do every thing but do nothing anyway
Have u ever seen someone that u could have helped
Could u feel what that person felt
And yet time is precious and time is dear
Time is ever thing when it is near


~ If Hell Had A Face ~
Im starting to wonder if I should just let it go
Let it be like the wind and the snow
Im starting to wonder if you could ever love me
For what you did is just starting to hit me
I fell so violated I fell so trapped
Now Im stuck in your mistake and can never turn back
Should I leave?
Should I stay?
This is what I face each and every day
I fell so helpless I fell so weak
I fell like Ive just been beet
Im faced with love Im trampled by hate
I fell the pressure that I cannot escape
I can try so hard and do my best
But apparently this never scores upon your test
So I guess I must confess
If hell had a face and a particular place
You would be hell in that hot dark place
I see the door I see the light
I see my chance its now in sight
Run I must
Run I may
Because their will never be another day


~Eight Belles (The last Run)~

Beautiful black thoroughbred
With no hope at all
Your life was cut short
Shorter then them all
I saw your fate at that terrible fallSo young� So fast
Faster then them all
A nation mourned
The world cried
We all felt so helpless as you lay there on your side
Beautiful black Thoroughbred
With no hope at all
That may hay been your last run for all
But we will never let them forget
Who went down with just 1 fall and that was all
Eight belles was her name
And she went down in the glory and in pain
So young� So free
How could this be
A life not yet Begun
Beautiful black thoroughbred
With no hope at all
We will always remember your stride to your great fall



here are just i few i have many...tell me what you think i need to no
 
They're alright. Nothing more, though. Nothing less.
I think that the ideas that you put into these poems are interesting, and some of the things mentioned got me to think.
But I think that you should work on your spelling and grammar. A good poem should be correctly written.
 
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