S
Skylar D
Guest
pretty please???
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PLease tell me some good, clean christian jokes, i need a laugh!?
N
nannygoat
Guest
Three pastors were talking about how they divide the money they collected for themselves and God.
Well the first pastor said that he draws a circle on the ground and toss the money up in the air and whatever fall in the circle, he keeps and outside goes to God.
The second pastor said that he also draws a circle, but what falls outside the circle he keeps and everything that falls inside the circle, goes to God.
The third pastor said that he toss the money into the air and said that what falls to the ground, he keeps and whatever God wants, he keeps.
Well the first pastor said that he draws a circle on the ground and toss the money up in the air and whatever fall in the circle, he keeps and outside goes to God.
The second pastor said that he also draws a circle, but what falls outside the circle he keeps and everything that falls inside the circle, goes to God.
The third pastor said that he toss the money into the air and said that what falls to the ground, he keeps and whatever God wants, he keeps.
P
please help
Guest
The Parable of the Seagull
A woman went to the beach with her children. Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore where a dead seagull lay in the sand.
"Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked.
"He died and went to heaven," she replied.
The child thought for a moment and said, "And God threw him back down?"
______________________________________________
Drunk Driving
A priest is driving down to New York to see a show, and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath, sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and asks, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
The minister replies, "Just water."
The trooper asks, "Then, why do I smell wine?"
The minister looks down at the bottle and exclaims, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"
_____________________________________________
Where is God?
A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed, but asked to see them separately.
So, the mother sent her youngest son first, in the morning. The elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response.So the elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer.
The elder raised his voice and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE did it!"
______________________________________________
A woman went to the beach with her children. Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore where a dead seagull lay in the sand.
"Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked.
"He died and went to heaven," she replied.
The child thought for a moment and said, "And God threw him back down?"
______________________________________________
Drunk Driving
A priest is driving down to New York to see a show, and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath, sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and asks, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
The minister replies, "Just water."
The trooper asks, "Then, why do I smell wine?"
The minister looks down at the bottle and exclaims, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"
_____________________________________________
Where is God?
A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed, but asked to see them separately.
So, the mother sent her youngest son first, in the morning. The elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response.So the elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer.
The elder raised his voice and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE did it!"
______________________________________________
D
David W
Guest
OK! Very Clean!
Who according to the Bible was the world's first successful businessman?
Noah!
Why?
He managed to float a limited company, while the rest of the world went into liquidation.
Who according to the Bible was the world's first successful businessman?
Noah!
Why?
He managed to float a limited company, while the rest of the world went into liquidation.
P
pugsley
Guest
George Bush was in Russia and they asked him - do you wish to see Lenins tomb ? George said no thanks I never was a Beatles fan
R
rohit_kayal
Guest
wat i wiil gate in exchange