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RUDMAN

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I'm normally on a different health message board specifically for eating disorders but I dare not because this might be wrong for it. I have recently been in hospital after having taking an overdose of 'alot' of laxatives. Normally I would not have been taken in for this reason only, as laxatives are non toxic. I'd been taking an unpriscribed slimming drug called Reductil. Everything has pointed to the fact that this medication is completely wrong for me both mentally and physically, so I just had to tell the abulance people the truth. I was taken in the hospital because my heart beat was fast, perhaps only due to the fact that I'd been taking Reductil. BUT, I'm not sure, could've been the laxatives, my general health. I am still taking the slimming tablets which I've had to keep secret from my partner, frienRAB and doctor. I am desperate to lose weight as I wanna get really thin again, like I have been before. I know I ought to stop taking these pills but can't. I'm a real risk taker. Have taken another drug tonight that will increase my heart rate, and have also taken a double dose of Reductil. I don't know what I want people to say really - all I know is that I feel needy and am unable, or seem to be unable to take responsibility for myself at the moment. I'm adopted and my real Dad died of a heart attack. Is a heart attack something that I could get heireditary? Claire:wave:
 
Claire,
Heart disease runs in my family as well so yes, you must be careful. My neice also has an eating disorder which she always denied and yet it was so obvious so I stepped in. May I ask a few questions if you don't mind? Out of curiosity, why do you feel like you have to be so thin? So thin to the point that you are hurting yourself with the double doses? It must be bothering you enough to keep it a secret from those who love you and care about you right? It is okay to feel needy but feeling needy also means that you are in need of someone to give you the proper attention that you need and deserve. That comes from being honest with yourself and honest with those that can help.

Deerod
 
Certainly you can post here, but you require far more help than we can provide. I don't believe you're addicted to drugs for themselves, just that they are all related to your eating disorder and wanting to be thinner. There is an eating disorder board here as well. Yes heart disease is hereditary, and you are killing yourself. You just went to the hospital with a high heart rate and you're now doubling up on the drug responsible for it? I'm the biggest addict I know and I think that would even scare me enough to quit, at least for awhile. More than 10% of people with eating disorders DIE from them, do you really want to be one of them for the sake of losing a few pounRAB? Granted, I know eating disorders ultimately aren't truly about weight, but you seem to be obsessed with your weight as something to focus on and distract you from deeper problems. Please get help and keep posting here.
 
Hello, thank you for your reply. Sorry your neice is not so well. To be thin for me at first was all about feeling 'not good enough', I lost weight through dieting at first and it gave me a sense of achievement. I just didn't feel good enough for my parents, I felt I'd failed with work- u know, that I ought to have had a better job, to have achieved more in life and to have turned out to be a better person. I failed them and failed me, but at least I wasn't fat. My Mum and Dad split up, my Mum left home when I was sixteen. I met a man who was much older than me around the same time Mum n' Dad split up-this man took advantage of me, which made me want to loose more weight because I wanted to be less sexually attractive. He was domineering and scared me, I thought that if I could loose enough weight that he'd be put off. A girl at work had given me the idea of making myself vomit. It sounded shocking at first, but I went ahead and tried it. Further on, my Dad's depression led him to act inappropriately towarRAB me-all is forgiven and I love him now though. The eating disorder began as a 'control' thing - Now it's pure obsession for me. I hope I can get over it and find more positive ways of coping with life. The earlier you can conquer an eating disorder the better - just thinking about your neice. Claire
 
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