please, read my poem... you will not regret reading it?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lavieenmauve
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lavieenmauve

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I'm not poet, just a teen who enjoy poetry.

You are a melody...my melody!

Please,don't go!
I remember the day we met
happy,I was drowning in perfect love
and when our bodies entwined
the sky capsized

Time is running like a fool
I don't want to loose you
I tattoo my skin
with the ink of our love
what good would it do to me
to find my destiny
if it doesn't lead to you

You were my sun
illuminated my days and life
if you go,misery will be my last and only lover
but,if you stay the wild tiger
who has never been humble
will sing a sweet song
...the song of our love

yesterday, I had the words
you had the wings
oh, heavenly soul of mine
let paint life with the color of happiness!
 
great poem, good use of metaphors and personification. Entwined is a word, but intertwined is a better word to use in the future.
 
You wrote this? Not bad for someone who's "not a poet"...

Nice imagery, interesting cadence in some of your phrasing.

You should hook up with someone who IS a poet, and develop your skill.
 
please don't ever give this poem to a guy/girl as some sort of love message. It sounds creepy
entwined is a word
 
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