PLEASE HELP. Need to know what to do, friends at war?

I

Izzy

New member
Okay so this is quite confusing. My friends are called (code names) Bridget (15) and Sally (15). Bridget has a boyfriend called Stuart (15) who is a bit of a dick but we support her, blah, blah and they seem to constantly argue but she does exaggerate it a bit and their fine, they've been together for years but they have broken up once.

now sally has recently got a boyfriend called Nile (17) who - quite frankly - is an idiot. He proposed to her TWO WEEKS into their relationship and she stupidly said yes but they broke up on Friday morning. and then she took him back friday night. then he dumped her saturday morning and NOW their back together. he is really possessive over her and won't let her talk to anyone, not even gay guys, he wont let her model for a hairdressers which she's been doing for years, he has even tried to stop her doing things with us.

I asked her why she got back with him and then was like 'can't believe you did it, i don't get why and then she suddenly had a go at me and saying things like "its one rule for bridget and another for me. why is it okay for her to get back with him but not for me to get back with Nile?" and then she went offline.

now, i dont know what to do, it feels like our friendship is becoming more strained and i want to fix it between the three of us. any advice?
 
You should try and show Sally what Nile is like, I've been in a situation a bit like yours, after I done it my own "Sally" was thankful that I shown her, but at the end of the day, its her choice, not yours, just try and stay close because one day that relationship is going to explode in her face, and she will need someone, and I think that someone should be you.
 
to me it sounds like nile needs a serious butt kickin' but thats just me, other then that i'd say just let it run it's course now on the other hand if it gets to the point of knock down drag out fighing then thats when to step in and say "hey, we've been friends for how long? and your going to waste that over some guy???? or w/e" other then that if the friendship is strong it should just play out and be done with in time.
 
Unfortunately you cant do much except for just be there for both of them. When you are involved with someone you think is "the one" no matter how bad he is you will not listen to anyone's advice. They both will have to learn on their own. I would just let them know that you dont agree with the relationships, but you are their friend and no matter what you are there for them. That will put the friendship back together. However on your part you will have to bite your tongue when it comes to the boyfriends when they bring them up. The more you put them down the more they will defend them.
 
Couples (like Bridget and Stuart) argue- it's inevitable. But the other couple on the other hand cxoncern me. This 'Nile' is showing signs of being very possessive, and could eventually become abusive towards 'Sally'. Not letting her do things, and proposing to her, are some of many ways to gain control over her. I think you need to tell Sally that you think that he may become abusive, and THAT is why things are different between Bridget and Stuart- Stuart doesn't act in a concerning manner.
Let her know that you have noticed these changes in what she does and who she talks to, and tell her she MUST get out of that relationship, in case Nile gains complete control of her and becomes abusive towards her. Say she did marry him, and they moved in together. Would anyone know what was happening behind closed doors? Would they spot the signs then?
If Sally does not take your advice, you have done everything in your power to try and make her see sense, and it hasn't worked, them i'mm afraid that you have dont all that you can, and it is up to Sally whether your friendship, or her relationship with Nile is more important. Keep a close eye on things, and if these signs get worse, then you have to take action for Sally's sake, perhaps talk to her parents, or someone else who may be able to help her.
 
Couples (like Bridget and Stuart) argue- it's inevitable. But the other couple on the other hand cxoncern me. This 'Nile' is showing signs of being very possessive, and could eventually become abusive towards 'Sally'. Not letting her do things, and proposing to her, are some of many ways to gain control over her. I think you need to tell Sally that you think that he may become abusive, and THAT is why things are different between Bridget and Stuart- Stuart doesn't act in a concerning manner.
Let her know that you have noticed these changes in what she does and who she talks to, and tell her she MUST get out of that relationship, in case Nile gains complete control of her and becomes abusive towards her. Say she did marry him, and they moved in together. Would anyone know what was happening behind closed doors? Would they spot the signs then?
If Sally does not take your advice, you have done everything in your power to try and make her see sense, and it hasn't worked, them i'mm afraid that you have dont all that you can, and it is up to Sally whether your friendship, or her relationship with Nile is more important. Keep a close eye on things, and if these signs get worse, then you have to take action for Sally's sake, perhaps talk to her parents, or someone else who may be able to help her.
 
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