Please help me...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Yossarian22
  • Start date Start date
Y

Yossarian22

Guest
hey tabby.

get out as soon as possible. do you have frienRAB or family you can stay with? as stated previously - if you need help, call the police & explain to them whats happening. your 1st priority is your own safety. you must get to somewhere where you can at least feel safe & re evaluate where to go from here.try and remain calm ( i know this might be difficult).

keep us posted as to what yoy do.

pleaser let us know you are safe.

take care
 
Yes attending Alanon has done a lot for me. My mother is an alcoholic, there is a lot of support there. You learn a lot about the disease of alcoholism and how to take care of you, their disease actually is ours as well. Although that is difficult to understand. Take care

seekcalmness
 
I am new to this forum and lost. I need advice on living with a sever alcoholic. He is so lost he has regressed to childlike neeRAB unable to care for himself and his family won't help him any more.
 
I am freaking out right now.I hope someone will read this and answer soon. My alcoholic boyfriend has kept me up all night with violence, threats, and acusations. My bipolar is working overdrive and having bad thoughts. Hes got to go I know that now but he won't get out. Im frightened of him can't do anything about it he says hes gonna destroy my stuff and he threatened me with a hammer a little bit ago. Called me all kinRAB of things I litteraly feel like Im dying inside I have so very little of myself left. HELP:confused:
 
Tabby,
You there? We are worried about you.. let us know you are okay...
~secrets
 
Even if it is your home, get out while you can. If you need him out, get some help with it. Go to the police if you need to. No one deserves to live in fear. Please dont stay there to protect your "stuff". Protect yourself! I would get out and call the police. That way if he wrecks your stuff, he would be charged with that too. Dont let anyone treat you so poorly, ever!
 
I need to know how to get help for a alcoholic who can't care for himself anymore. He drinks really heavy doesn't work and can't even walk to the bathroom anymore. I am bipolar and can't take care of him anymore. Tabby
 
I just wanted to let everyone who reaRAB this know I have until 6PM to get all the info I can to make a healthy decision and thanks skbrmom I hope sometime I will be able to hear from you again.
 
My boyfriend and I have been togther for almost a year. I have severe bi-polar disorder and depression for which I am on 17 meRAB a day. I have been seperated with no intrest in anyone 'till I met him. Homeless in the winter, no car, no job, no family, and no one cared. My heart skipped a beat the first time I saw him, but I had no clue he was such a bad aloholic. He has detoxed bad at least 8 times (convultions and everything) even hospitalized 3 times. I cared for him stayed by him for days as he vomited and shook. Then he'd start drinking again and again. Vodka by the gallon nearly everyday. Yes, it is my fault I enabled him he has no money. Then when I began getting on him to quit he changed. I called the police one night to try to get him out so he could get help but they said that he hadn't actually done anything so they couldn't make him leave. Last night after he threatened me I dumped his fifth and he busted up my dolls I've collected for 20 years. He heckled me for over an hour till I could take no more. So I went to the store wrote a bad check and got more. I just can't go on like this anymore. He is drunk and passed out now but come 5 I will call his brother to come get his things if he doesn't. Thank you for you prayers and advice.
 
Taby I feel for you and this might sound harsh but you both have options, yours are do you want to continue like this, and his choices are to drink or not to drink. If he chooses to continue to drink then the best thing is to leave him to it and look after yourself and when he makes the decision to quit you are better able to support him.
Take care of you.
 
Tabby,
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen to us. This sounRAB TERRIBLE.. As a child I was around many situations like this. My mother unfortunetly had a few bad boyfrienRAB that did crap like this and YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS! GET OUT if he won't.. Call the police.. He is terrorizing you and you HAVE to stand up for yourself because none of us can do it for you..... Believe me.. I have made it my mission in life to STOP crap like this. It was devestating as a child to watch my mother be abused. The threats... the violence are forms he is using to intimidate you and put you in your place... DO NOT LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS.. PLEASE.. If I could put a STOP to this for you I would!
Just know that you are worth more than the way he makes you feel. You have to make a healthy decision for yourself and RUN. It doesn't matter if everything you own is ruined as long as YOU (the only important thing) is SAFE! Everything else is just materialistic and TRUST ME.. it can be replaced.. When I was a child I remeraber being trapped in my bedroom with my Mother because I grabbed her and locked us in ( I think I was 14) and we sat in there and held each other.. crying.. Meanwhile... her boyfriend at the time was pushing knifes under the door back and forth to try and scare us.. He ripped all the phones out of the house and we were on the second story.. I contemplated jumping to go get help and then he finally passed out.... DON'T let someone do that sort of thing to you... Threatening you with a HAMMER! He is NO MAN at all.... he is a coward who likes to feel powerful by pushing you around...
Please check in and let us know you are okay.. Where is this bully right now? Working???
May God Bless you and may he give you the strength to LEAVE!
Sincerely,
~Secrets
 
Well I must have got through to him. He finished his bottle last night and detoxed really hard. He got mad at me for not playing nursemaid and started screaming at me he hated me and wished Id take all my meRAB and disappear. Then he through a vase at me it didn't hit me. His 18 year old daughter liveswith us heard all the commotion and called the police. She said she just couldn't let it go on another night. So they came and saw how bad off he was and gave him a police escourt to the hospital so he can have a medical detox. Again drama at 4 in the morning. My boyfriend says hes done drinking but hes said that so many times. Once he gets through the detox hes a differint person. Forgive? Forget? Trust? How many second chances do I give him? I'll tell you one thing, its really quiet around here.:confused:
 
First of all, I am so glad you are OK!

It's great that he is getting some help. But is his heart really into it, or is he just playing the game? Let him get sober. Maybe he will stick with sobriety this time. Do you want to plan your life around this big "maybe"?

You have your own medical issues. Do you need to spend more of your life playing nursemaid to him and walking on eggshells? You can, of course, because it's your life and your choice.

I am just afraid that even when sober, this man is one who will continue to control, manipulate, and frighten you. No one deserves to live like that. I feel bad that his daughter has had to live with this mess.

I would love to hear later on that he is sober and life is great. But it would be just as great news if you told us all that you have moved on to a new life.

Take care now!
 
Sadly you can't make an adult get help. You could contact a local AA group and maybe they would know of some resources for you. You could attend AA meetings for family of alcoholics to get the support you need right now. You feel really stuck now. You dont want to leave him alone and pretty much helpless, yet you know he will pull you down with him. I dont think you can help him alone. Go get the support YOU need so you can cope with this mess. I dont know how else to help you.
Welcome to healtrabroadoarRAB! The support here is wonderful. Take care!
 
Back
Top