Please help me on the GRAMMAR and WRITING?

M

Mercy

New member
Dear .....

I would like you to know that ...... Centre is a transportation company that also provides air freight service. The price of the service is cheaper than any other company, including DHL. Please send the books and CDs by .........Centre rather than DHL.

.......Centre's air freight is shipped on the 1st, 10th, and 20th of each month. It would be most convenient for me if you could deliver the books to .......Centre before those days.

When you deliver the books or CDs, you must inform the staff of .........Centre that the parcels must be sent by air freight. Otherwise, the parcels might be sent by ship.

If you need any additional information, please don't hesitate to contact me directly.

Thanking you in advance for your attention to this matter,

[your name]
 
Is it polite and direct enough? Help me?


Dear .....

I would like to let you know that ...... Centre, which is transportation company also provide the service of air freight. Price of the service of ........Centre is cheaper than any other companies such as DHL. Therefore I would appreciate if you could send the books and CDs by .........Centre rather than DHL.
.......Centre's air freight is 1st, 10th, and 20th of every month. It would be very convenient if you deliver the books to .......Centre before these days.

I would like to highly recommend that, when you deliver books or CDs, which should be sent by air freight, it would be crucial to tell the parcels must be sent by air freight to the staffs of .........Centre. Otherwise the parcels might be sent by ship, then the problems will arise, such as long waiting.

Suggestions are most welcomed. If you need anything to ask, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Thanking you in advance for you attention to this matter, I remain.


Best Regards
 
To whom it may concern [or the person's name, if you know it. Use Mr/Ms/Mrs + the last name, if you are not on a first-name basis],

[You should mention something about previous business with whomever you are writing to, to establish warmness. The person reading your letter will be much more likely to help you this way -- as opposed to you ordering them around right off the bat. It needn't be longer than, "I have ordered from you/this company in the past, and it was a great transaction. I have recommended this company/etc to others, and intend to continue this business relationship in the future"... or something of that nature. Use your judgment.]

I would like to let you know about Centre, which is a transportation company that provides air freight services. The shipping rates of Centre is much cheaper than that of other companies (such as DHL). Because of this, I would ask that you send the order through Centre, if it is possible. Centre ships air freight on the 1st, 10th, and 20th of every month, and It would be greatly appreciated if you sent the order to Centre before those dates, so that they may arrive in a timely fashion. Please be sure to note that the order is to be sent by air, so that it is not mistaken for regular shipping.

Thank you for your understanding in this matter. I look forward to ordering from you [or the company, etc] again.

[Your name]
 
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