Beginning of chapter 2. There was action in chapter one and action happens after this, I just want critque on my style, grammar, etc.
Secret #1: Chloe comprised troubles with jealousy. Although Chloe’s jealousy was troublesome to her sister, it was a torment to herself. Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time. Chloe’s jealousy was a pain which she felt from the dread that she was not equally beloved by the person she entirely loved, Giselle. If your jealous, take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within your own soul. Apply all your energy analyzing others into blossoming talents and successes. Then you will be the one others envy, and remembering the pain you will reach out to them. Chloe didn’t just die once, she died inside every single time Giselle thrived. Remember, envy is an evil game in which you count others blessings rather than your own. Envy is a tiger that pierces not only its prey but also its own raging heart.
Chloe was ninety-nine percent sure she was dreaming. The reasons were quite plausible. First, Chloe was buried in her enormous walk-in closet with Giselle while rotating racks of designer clothes swished stealthily around the perimeter of the soundproof walls. Secondly, Chloe was staring into Giselle’s sea-green eyes that glimmered like emeralds and sparkled like diamonds. Giselle was lounging on a cheetah chaise in the midst of the designer walk-in, looking like a store-front mannequin. Efforts to study were squashed by her insistence on finding the perfect outfit for senior prom post-parties, which were presently approaching. Giselle’s high pony gleamed like she’d just had a blowout and her shimmer dusted cheeks glowed.
“This is perfect. Its sensible yet fashionable, the fact that its two thousand dollars is bound to turn heads. A positive plus is vodka doesn’t stain this material whatsoever.“ A lime green Balenciaga scarf was twirled around Giselle’s finger like a glossy boa constrictor. For Giselle, Vodka was tasteless going down but memorable coming up.
”You’re perfect, you know that Giselle? I‘m jealous.” Chloe proclaimed. Gloom and shadows were etched around Chloe’s turquoise eyes and delicate nose. Her face always seemed to be twisted in a frown.
With a surrendering sigh, Chloe collapsed on a buttery zebra chaise. A puddle of lavender scented sheets and goose-feather pillows cloaked her like a taco shell. Chloe could sense her aching legs throbbing to the beat of her pounding heart.
Giselle let out a little hum of sympathy. “Did you know Michael Jordan was cut from his basketball team sophomore year in high school? Anyway, you’re a freshman, you have plenty of time to excel like me.” Clenching her fists, Chloe dug her nails into her palms. Not only was Giselle intolerably gorgeous, but she was superior too. The sharp stab was painless to the rush of jealousy revving her heart like a massive swig of Red Bull.
Secret #1: Chloe comprised troubles with jealousy. Although Chloe’s jealousy was troublesome to her sister, it was a torment to herself. Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time. Chloe’s jealousy was a pain which she felt from the dread that she was not equally beloved by the person she entirely loved, Giselle. If your jealous, take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within your own soul. Apply all your energy analyzing others into blossoming talents and successes. Then you will be the one others envy, and remembering the pain you will reach out to them. Chloe didn’t just die once, she died inside every single time Giselle thrived. Remember, envy is an evil game in which you count others blessings rather than your own. Envy is a tiger that pierces not only its prey but also its own raging heart.
Chloe was ninety-nine percent sure she was dreaming. The reasons were quite plausible. First, Chloe was buried in her enormous walk-in closet with Giselle while rotating racks of designer clothes swished stealthily around the perimeter of the soundproof walls. Secondly, Chloe was staring into Giselle’s sea-green eyes that glimmered like emeralds and sparkled like diamonds. Giselle was lounging on a cheetah chaise in the midst of the designer walk-in, looking like a store-front mannequin. Efforts to study were squashed by her insistence on finding the perfect outfit for senior prom post-parties, which were presently approaching. Giselle’s high pony gleamed like she’d just had a blowout and her shimmer dusted cheeks glowed.
“This is perfect. Its sensible yet fashionable, the fact that its two thousand dollars is bound to turn heads. A positive plus is vodka doesn’t stain this material whatsoever.“ A lime green Balenciaga scarf was twirled around Giselle’s finger like a glossy boa constrictor. For Giselle, Vodka was tasteless going down but memorable coming up.
”You’re perfect, you know that Giselle? I‘m jealous.” Chloe proclaimed. Gloom and shadows were etched around Chloe’s turquoise eyes and delicate nose. Her face always seemed to be twisted in a frown.
With a surrendering sigh, Chloe collapsed on a buttery zebra chaise. A puddle of lavender scented sheets and goose-feather pillows cloaked her like a taco shell. Chloe could sense her aching legs throbbing to the beat of her pounding heart.
Giselle let out a little hum of sympathy. “Did you know Michael Jordan was cut from his basketball team sophomore year in high school? Anyway, you’re a freshman, you have plenty of time to excel like me.” Clenching her fists, Chloe dug her nails into her palms. Not only was Giselle intolerably gorgeous, but she was superior too. The sharp stab was painless to the rush of jealousy revving her heart like a massive swig of Red Bull.